I wish there was a Reset Button!
Hi,
My name is Mizzi, 29 y/o divorced male who is living alone in parents summer house in another country. studying for MBA without a job nor savings account..
in other words, I am a failure. less than a year to my 30's and what have I accomplished? nothing..
Lets head back a little,,
I'm a guy who was forced to marry a girl, at 23 y/o, that I never even said I love you within our 2 years of marriage. This marriage is what 1st broke me, all my passion to whatever I loved faded away in those 2 years. Had to stop my life to stay by my mother's side, she is not ill or something, she is just.. hard to deal with and all my older brothers and sister left her with me and my dad who was also struggling with her presence until me and her moved to another country. Only 8 months ago I finally was alone after she moved in with my brother in the US, but hey guess what? I am 29 now, the fog cleared just now, the freedom just kicked in and guess what? I am still the same, no passion, no fun, no good times, and no freakin sex since the divorce! 3 years that is... .
The only benefit from the divorce is that I finally stood up against my whole family and said I will fkin love who I ever love and no one will ever control my life. had some relationship failure, heart breaks to be exact.. made me stop looking for any partners..
I quit my job 8 months ago to get my MBA degree, but to what end? the country I am in is the hardest with jobs and doesn't pay over 300$ even for a 5 year experienced IT graduate.. .
My home country is underdeveloped and in war, lol fkin war do you believe that? I mean why the hell do countries still have wars!!!! it's 2020, the world has viruses now, which by the way is the reason for 2 relatives deaths.. omg and guess what again? the war has developed something inside me, wana know what it is? it is immune to tragedy.. the war killed my aunt with an Anti-aircraft weapon to the head while she was sitting behind a wall... also killed many many other relatives, so many that this, death, news is now like old news to me..
ok, Lets summaries this story a little bit, which was brief already..
29 years old, lonely, heartless, emotionless, can't start doing anything, can't keep doing something good, I get bored, I feel soon I will turn virgin again.
now that I read what I wrote, it doesn't make any sense, it is not organized, it does not say all what I needed to say! it doesn't explain even remotely what is inside me......
In other words, I feel the ship has sailed. I wish there was a reset button.
@Mizzi29
Sorry you're going through all of that.
I wish there was a reset button too.
@Mizzi29
You are going through a lot and I acknowledge the situation.
Still... Thinking about a Reset Button might actually be a good idea.
It could actually work as an inspiration for jump-starting a growth mindset and other things.
There are many things that a person can reset.
They can even reset their narrative about their past that can help one to feel better.
I did a quick search and here is what is out there on RESET BUTTON FOR LIFE
Perhaps seeing what others talk about might be helpful. I do that to help myself.
Here is the Google search.
https://www.google.com/search?q=RESET+BUTTON+FOR+LIFE
Here is the Bing.com version for videos
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=RESET+BUTTON+FOR+LIFE
Bing.com search for videos results are better because you can preview the videos directly on this page without opening a video. Just hover your cursor over the video of interest and then if it says "preview", then you click on the speaker x button to hear the video preview.
I hope that helps a starting point. Maybe if you look through it you'll get or find some inspiration that you are specifically looking for, because you know best what that is.
@Mizzi29
Sadly to say that there's no reset button. I think most of us wants to have a reset button in life. But there is none. We have to move our feet forward. It's hard. I know it really is. But let's move our feet forward even if it's a baby step.
@Nana412 I would agree if only we were not ageing but I mean on my age when will I be able to jump from a plane, go to a concert, experiance the real life of collage, find friends that one day I would say this is my friend since 30 years..
In my pov, I don't trust life and I believe that I might die at any moment, when I smoke I think my lungs will shut down, when I drink I think I will pass out and never wake up..
all I can say now is "sigh"