I thought I was getting better...
Hi,
Like others, I had a really rough time a couple of years ago and was diagnosed with depression after a great deal of denial. I have been on medication for the past year, but was determined to get myself off of it before I went on holiday and started a new chapter of my life at university this September. I believed that I was truly ready to come off the medication... I mean I had a few down days, but then so does everyone?!
I have now started universityand am really enjoying it! But I can feel myself slipping back into the depressive state. I've tried to stop myself, but it just feels like once I've hadthe illnessI'll never get rid of it. I just want to be my old self again, and wondered whether there is anyone who has truly left their depression behind and fully recovered? I just need a little bit of hope please.... And guidance :)
@Beanbear, I understand totally how you feel. I have been given a prescription for meds but havent taken them because of a fear of the side effects. I have had enough problems in my life for a half dozen people or more. I seemed to make it through most of these problems seemingly unscathed. As a kid , I was sexually molested by my father, and I am a guy. He also killed my dreams of college and a possible baseball career. I believe I could have had it pay for college at a minimum. He also played a part in breaking my relationship with a girl whom I cared for a lot and her for me. We had planned on getting married. I nearly lost half of my left hand in a workplace accident, I have had people at that job, since threatening me and sabotaging my work. My mom passed away last year, along with two aunts. Then about three months ago a guy I used to work with passed away. The significance of this guy was that he was the older brother of the girl that my dad assisted in breaking up. She wasnt listed as a survivor so I did some searching online and found out she passed away 7 years ago from cancer. Up until this past year I had no problem. I liken it to walking through a minefield and not getting hurt until I took that last step, then all of it blew up on me. I dont usually cry but I have a lot the last few months, although not much now. Oh yeah, yesterday I was crossing the road and I came within one step of being run over from a girl going about40 or 45 mph in a 25 mph zone. She never blew a horn or slowed down. All I can think what got me through all this is I must have a guardian angel. Things will get better for you I believe. I will say a prayer for you in hopes that they do. Come on this site and talk with some different listeners and other things on this website. See a professional if you can and if you like to read, get some books about depression. These things have helped me. Im sorry for this being so long and I hope I didnt bore you. I care what happens to a lot of people on here struggling because I know how tough it is. We will get through this. Take care and dont lose hope.