I think I might have depression but I don't know what to do
Hi everyone,
Basically, for the past few months I've had more bad days than good ones. I feel extremely guilty and hate myself for feeling this way because in general my life is supposed to be good; I'm healthy, have family, friends, a boyfriend, no financial issues and I'm studying a degree at university that I enjoy. However, there are always some worries and things that don't go right and they seem to be hitting me harder than they ever had before in my life.
Recently, I've moved to a new house near my university and I have seen some friends I hadn't seen since the last academic year had finished. Those would be the highlights of the month. However, my boyfriend is starting his first year of university (we're doing a long distance relationship, we have been for a year now) and has completely shut me out for a week (so far) and made me feel like I don't deserve much attention and that he doesn't care about me. I'm also a bit far away from my parents and I feel like since I've left for university they resent me for spending so much time away from home and not spending every single day with them when I'm in my home country. I love them and call them every other day or so, and when I'm home I'll spend a significant amount of time with them.
From the outside my life is great, but what's really happening is I'm getting nervous about lectures starting and I won't be motivated or concentrated enough to do well. I'm very afraid of what will happen to my relationship with my boyfriend and I'm feeling hurt about how both him and my parents have such negative feelings towards me. I want to talk to them about these things but my boyfriend just shrugs it off and says I'm overreacting while my parents would just simply get mad at me.
I don't want to have to deal with these problems on my own, so I joined this website to talk to a listener (which has been really helpful). I keep wondering however, if I do have depression (judging by the amount of days I'm down, with no energy or motivation to do much) and should seek therapy. How would I go about telling my parents about this? (considering they'd have to pay for whatever I'd need)
I spoke to my mum on Christmas Day about it- I had enough of hiding it and she was really understanding and booked a doctors appointment who signed me up for a counselling waiting list. Do it!!xxxx it will be okay x
How expensive is it? Part of the reason I'm scared about talking to my parents about it is if they say it's unecessary and a waste of money...
Well I live in England and it's all free here... But I'm sure something will be sorted, your mental health is more important x
It would be wise to simply tell them how you feel, it isn't projecting your feelings onto them at all. If you feel as though you're depressed it's better to speak with someone about it, especially loved ones. You don't want it to grow into something more, so talk it out while you still can, don't bottle your emotions dear. Just be strong, and approach either your boyfriend, or your parents, or both if you really are in the beginning stages of depression.
It is very likely that you are experiencing depression, when you sense therre is something wrong never hesitate to tell someone. Talk to a professional. Your family and friends may not always know how to help or understand your situation, they love you, they just don't understand how to handle your situation.
It's important to remember when you're depressed you have to nurse yourself and be extra gentile towards yourself. Just like an athlete wouldn't break an ankle then force themselves to run that ankle. They rest as it heals and do not think "I'm a failed athlete" they think "right now something isn't working so I'll take care of myself until it does."
Just like a broken bone, depression can change the way your daily life plays out. Pushing yourself too hard and getting frustrated when you don't feel better is like trying to run on that broken ankle and getting frustrated when it doesn't heal.
Make today the day you change for the better. Because darling you deserve so much better than this. Remember that you are loved and treasured, and don't ever forget how amazing you truly are.
Here are a few resources for you:
Hotlines for all countries docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/tcdQ3_MAa1rMU-7sf5hF-gw/htmlview?pli=1
The following website can assist you in locating a therapist geographically close to you: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com
If you need support, please visit our support rooms, or connect with a listener in a 1-on-1 chat here: https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
