Is life worth it anymore?

My name is Damian I'm 19 years old,I'm from Italy. I have a rare illness called Moebius Syndrome it's basically a facial paralysis which means I can't make any kind of facial expression like smiling or moving my eyes from left to right,I also have problems swallowing food and drinks and I was also born with club feet which had to be corrected by multiple surgeries the last surgery I had was in 2010 which really was a bad experience. Now here in Italy it's 10 in the morning you might think :" Oh wow guess you go to university or you just have a day off from work" well no both of these suggestions are false unfortunately,I still go to high school. Then you might ask "Well why are you here then,like are you writing this at school,maybe while having a free hour or maybe while I sit in the school bathroom ?" No......actually I'm at home and before you ask,no I'm not ill I just pretending that I have a flu so that I can stay at home and I don't need to go to school. I'm not proud of it because the past years at high school I always tried to always go to school because I didn't want to be portrayed with a bad image someone who would "skip school" but this year it's different. I feel like I reached a point in my life where i can't take it anymore. I mean having this illness is hard enough but when you then go to school and both teachers and classmates treat you like you are stupid every day,it hurts a lot.....because it's not like I didn't try to talk to them,I did but they just continue treating me this way. I was held back one year at high school and I think that period was really bad but the period I'm leaving through right now is even worse. I feel anxiety when Sunday night comes,I get stomach pain when I wake up Monday in the morning....And while I sit at school I'll get panic attacks (which by the way I'm happy that I found out this are panic attacks because before that I thought I was getting some kind of heart attack or seizure ) I can still breath but it feels like the air doesn't help,I struggle to not fall from my chair and I have a sense of life not being real. Normally this would happen to me during certain subjects that were hard and intense,this year unfortunately I get them nearly every day especially when we have 2 hours of the same subject....I just feel like I want to quit everything. If I only could come home and talk to my family about how I feel but no.....wrong at home there is a family that just loves to yell and scream and argue about anything My parents are divorced,I live with my mother but both of them I feel like I can't call "parents". Before the start of this school year I wanted to go to university,because I thought that maybe university will be better. I thought about majoring in political science (yeah political science,don't worry if you laughed at thatmy parents did too when I told them) I love politics especially US politics. I could spend days searching for gubernatorial races,congressional races and more,looking at the political maps which counties went blue ? Which red ? How did Steve Sisolak beat Adam Laxat in the gubernatorial race if he only won 2 counties out of 17 ? How did Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez beat Joe Crowley by nearly a landslide ? Would Charlie Baker be able to beat Ed Markey if Baker run for Senate in 2020 ? I could really spend hours a day researching that but also I like political theory Socialism,Social Democracy,Anarcho-Capitalism,Libertarianism I would love to study this. But hey if you ask people at my school or my family what they think about political science as a major they will probably say "A useless major" maybe they are right and maybe I'm also not good enough to study political science.....and then also my dream of a new start at university is a pipe dream,I've been probably too much influenced by watching YouTube videos and expecting that university will be better than high scholl....but I mean what do I think will happen at university? Me going to my room with my other roommates and being able to form a good relationship ? The reality will be I will get in the room,everybody will stare at me awkwardly and i will run into my room and never come out of it and basically live there isolated from the others.......well maybe when i will join the lectures i will be able to sit next to people and maybe do some small talk.....reality is I will probably end up in the back on my own like always with people wondering who that strange kid in the back is....... well maybe when I go to the library which is always full of people and I will be able to sit at an empty table people might come to sit next to me because they want to study for their exam and maybe we can do some small talk..... reality will be that people would probably not want to sit next to me anyway.....so basically from the social aspect of school my life went get better,how about the academic part......what I imagine is that I will do good at political science but the reality is I will probably realise that I suck at it and probably I will decide to drop out before the winter semester is over.......so at the end my question Is the same : "Is life even worth living anymore?" Because what I see is a life full of loneliness and failure....so I don't know anymore