I'm gonna beat this yet
I thought I'd make a "personal" thread to better record my progress and feelings.
5/9/16
Today wasn't great or bad. It just "was". I'm tired after the weekend and I have a lot of work the next 4 months :\
I do feel rather optimistic though. I'm going to make a change in my life and I won't let depression win :D
@Nagisa I am so glad you are working towards a better future! It is so hard to take the first steps in wanting to get better and living with your depression, not letting it control you. I am so happy for you. Don't be ashamed of yourself if you do make mistakes and feel sad (I used to beat myself up through my recent recovery from a really horrible time). If you want to get better and have people supporting you- of which I am now one- then you can get back your life :)
@Nagisa Exactly!!! Great post
6/9/16
Before I started this thread I am sad to say I let depression win. I just gave up. I accepted things and didn't bother making a change anymore. I felt that I have depression, this is just my life from now on...so I did dumb things. I messed up. I pushed people away. I hurt the people I love. And I blamed my depression and anxiety for it. I told myself that's just how things are. I'll never be happy, I'll never be a good person.
My change in perspective has already changed so much for me! I no longer blame mental illness. I am going to take responsibility for the things I did. I'm going to be happy. I'm going to realize that bad things happen and that I can't focus on them, that I have to appreciate the happy moments and accept the bad ones. Accept them, but not become them!!!
I am not going to be unrealistic about this...I know I still have a long journey ahead (happiness is after all a lifetime journey, not a specific destination). I'm going to set small goals for myself and I'm going to be proud of myself when I reach them ^_^
@Nagisa Hi Nagisa! I'm so glad that you decide to choose to be happy. It is indeed hard to win the fight, but it's definitely worth fighting for! #keepgoing