Im going mental

I dont know what the f*ck is wrong with me.I feel lost.Im angry and sad.2 years ago i overdosed pills to kill myself and i was take to the hospital where i stayed for 2 days.I have been bulimic for 3 years now and i used to cut myself a lot.After my suicide attempt i told my mother everything and she said nothing.NOTHING.SHE DID NOTHING.All my parents care about is good grades.Seriously im facing so many problems i cant talk to anyone.Im so angry at my mother for doing nothing she just left me there deal with recovery by myself.I never recovered..Im now a drug user officially.I smoke i take pills i do weed i do MDMA and have made plans to try out heroin with a friend.This cant be my life i dont even bother studying for school i have no interest in it.Im almost certain i will die young.I want to die young.I dont have any plans for my future.The only thing i desire is to try out new drugs so i will stop caring about everyone and everything.So many things in my head i cant handle it i feel like im losing my mind.This will drive me crazy i dont want to be crazy i dont want to keep dissapointing my parents but thats all i do.I need drugs to help my mind cope with all this sh*t.How cant no one see how broken i am how can no one care and especially my own mother who loves me.What kind of love is this?Is she blind or does she just choose not to do anything.Im going to burn myself to the ground i will end up addicted to drugs i already am addicted to hipnosedoni cant go without it...Worst part is that i want to end up like that i dont want to be a part of this society.