I just don
I think that I am depressed. I dont really know..
it seems as though life is great. My boyfriend is good to me, my family accepts me for being gay, I have a decent job and money saved back, pretty good health, however I often feel empty. Lonely maybe. Sad and sometimes unsure why.
As as a kid I was beaten, emotionally and physically and mentally abused. Alcoholic father. Parents divorced, then my mom divorced again. Lots of family deaths (1 to cancer, 1 to cirrhosis, 1 to heart attack and lots more for other reasons).
Family is all split apart and no one communicates much. At first I wasnt accepted for being gay and also live in a small TN town so its very hard to show who I am.. or who I want to be maybe. Theres no way to find out.
I just need someone to talk to I think, but therapy is too expensive. Anyone else feel similar? I also am a little scared that I would be diagnosed with something. Almost positive I would
Hi there @selfdisciplinedBeach7133
You sound distressed. I'm sorry to hear that.
Life may seem great but that doesn't mean you can't be depression. Depression is an illness and similar to how cancer doesn't care about your life situation, neither does depression.
However, it sounds like you would have a reason to be depressed or have some form of mental illness.
It's unfortunate you've had such a difficult experience. You don't deserve that but sadly, that's life. You may be able to look into cheap or free therapy online but I don't know if you'd find anything. You can also talk to a listener here on 7cups. Obviously, they are not all trained therapists but they would be there for you and would listen to you if you needed to talk.
I can undersatnd your fear. It feels more real after a diagnosis. But diagnosis is not something to be afraid of. It could be useful in finding treatments or feeling you overcome it.
Good luck with your journey. I hope things get better for you soon.
Have a nice day 
