I feel like it's all my fault
Extreme Trigger Warning
Hello everyone, I have been having increased thoughts of self harm recently and my depression has been skyrocketing because of this. I bought a game for this person who was my friend when I was getting bullied heavily in school, for us to play on, not to troll on. Well recently the forums of this game have been ablaze with this person, who has taken my gift, and horribly misused it, telling people hurtful things, making YouTube videos flaming members of the game, and also insulting people and starting arguments with people he dislikes on the game. He's gotten banned from many severs, and many people on the game are getting angry and irritated at his behavior. I feel like it's all my fault because I bought him the game. And I've just had self harm thoughts because I feel like I have to punish myself for trolling with him sometimes when he wanted me to. I know I was young and naive then, and he was one of my only friends when I was getting bullied, but now because no one bullies me anymore, and I see the aftermath of buying him that game. I just can't sleep easy or live life happy anymore, knowing he's on that game causing trouble while I'm enjoying my life with friends. If anyone could give any help, it would be great, thank you and have a wonderful day!
@LaughingLemon You arent guilty of anything,people will be what the are everywhere they interact.This person you consider a friend obviously has no remorse and for him the internet is just another way to manifest.Afterall, you wouldnt get away with it so easily if you offended so many people face to face.
@Ylina
You're right, I told this guy that when he does this stuff it causes me problems, and tried to prevent it from happening again, but obviously he just used me to buy him games and used me as his minion. If he really cared about me he'd stop doing those things, but if he has no guilt over being this way toward people, then I should feel no guilt for him.
@LaughingLemon You can't control the action of other people. There's no need to blame yourself. If you need anyone to talk to, feel more than welcome to send me a message!
These situations are never your fault. Even if you feel like you are somehow responsible and maybe took part in the bullying, remember some people are manipulative! People can convince you to go against your own beliefs and make you doubt yourself. You are in no way, shape, or form, responsible for any of this.
An abused person, will most likely become abuser when they have the chance, and you had no hand in his being abused or abuser, its never your fault, he would have done it, whether you did buy him the game or not, if he was not doing it even before you did buy him the game, there is a chance its just a reaction for having the "power" to abuse people, and he will get back to his senses again,
I am sorry that you are going through this.
