I don't deserve love.

I haven't had anxiety this bad in a while and it's all becoming too much. All the bad thoughts came back and for some reason feeling like I don't deserve to be loved by anyone. I've had a relative mentally manipulate me for a long time and don't know if my parents loved me in the first place anymore. I want to feel loved and be loved and love others. My head's all mixed up and I don't know what to do.