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How and when to share your struggles

JEvelyn September 6th, 2018

I feel like being open and honest about my struggles with depression really helps me, especially when I feel like I'm falling into one again. If I can tell someone, "I have been battling depression for 10 years, and I have a history of cutting" then I feel like I have a little more control over it and feel less inclined to self-harm.

But how do you know who you can talk to? My mom, for example, is a strong believer that people use mental illnesses to justify bad behavior. I'm in a new romantic relationship and am scared to talk to him about my struggles because he might feel the same way as my mom.

So how and when do you decide to tell people?

2
romanticthi3f September 6th, 2018

@JEvelyn

Hi!

This is such a tough tough question to answer, because it really depends on who you know, how well you know them and what your relationship with them is like. Everyone is going to react differently; if someone doesn't have any experience or knowledge in depression they are obviously going to see things differently to someone who has experienced it before. So there's so many things to consider.

For me personally, I've found the best way to tell people (through immense trial and error) is to start small. I start by telling them something a little personal as a bit of insight, like how I've been having a really tough time lately. I then judge how they respond; do they take time to listen? Do they jump straight in with advice to make it better? Am I ignored/do they care? That way I can gauge whether it feels right to tell them a little more.

By easing into it this way it allows me that safety but also protects them and your relationships so that you're not feeling too hurt if they don't respond in the way that you'd like to.

smiley

1 reply
JEvelyn OP September 7th, 2018

@romanticthi3f

Thank you! That's really good advice.

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