@luxx454 Thank you. I think this is the advice I needed until today. I apologize if it took a month for me to respond. I haven't been in this site for a while. Anyway, I believe this was the advice I needed to hear for so long so thank you. I find it hard to heal and I've tried everything. Seeing a shrink, doing self-care like meditation, but it doesn't go away. They are helpful but it's not an instant fix. And because of it, I've been beating myself up because I wasn't able to get better quicker. I didn't have time to talk to my friends because they're all mutuals with my former best friend. Even if I do talk to them about these things, I would feel like I'm bothering them. Probably because of my experience with the guy. Everytime I need someone to listen, he'd always tell me I'm treating him like a therapist. Then when I say he's unfair, he would tell me I'm psychoanalysing him. So I kept things to myself just so it could give him a sense of normalcy like he wanted. Any mention of feelings makes him uncomfortable.
I've already stopped hanging out with him three weeks ago and decided not to anymore. But of course the hurt is still there, it makes me afraid to talk to anyone because I worry I'll just bother people. They'll pretty much just say the same thing which is to see the therapist or go to church. Therapy here is expensive and I don't really believe in my religion anymore for personal reasons. I just hope it gets better.