Hazes I am going through...

Hiya!

2021 turned out to be terrible for me. I've lost my job two times for the same reason. I wasn't doing my job well. I preferred to do nothing and fell to depression. I was blamed in the lack of initiative, in the lack of interest of doing my job. I was late at my work place frequently, wasn't warning my co-workers that I came/left/took a break, so I was conducting badly in terms of time management and any social interaction. For the first job I've lost that year I was working remotely for quite long already, so after so long time I even forgot how it is in the office, I felt so much like "I am at home" = "I can only relax/take rest". Well, but disciplinary things are not only what I did badly. I didn't cope with my work actually. I was severely unsure in my skills and competences. I felt like I was asking for help even in the simpliest things. Well, I actually asked for promotion long ago and was rejected drastically, so it is what shattered my confidence with all fundament. Yet, the most terrible thing I did in my situation, I never asked for help when it was not yet too late. It was the most terrible thing I made so many times, but even asking for help is not very fruitful. I lost all the trust of people around me, my friend numbers decreased very much. So, I felt rejected, lonely, left out and totally isolated. I felt insecure, I wasn't confident in my skills, I asked myself so many times "What is wrong with me?" I hadn't found my answer yet. I have no idea how to actually regain an interest to my job, how to become more organized and somewhat content with myself.