Getting worse

I feel like things are getting a lot worse with my depression recently, theres paperwork delays in the recruitment process for my new job and Im getting paranoid that they are not intending on hiring me at all (Ive always been suspicious about employers). Tonight has been especially bad with my mother being in a very bad mood. For some background, she doesnt ask for help when she needs it despite having various medical problems. She tends to bottle up her feelings until it explodes outwards, usually at me. I feel like life is getting worse and Im getting increasingly tempted to commit suicide :(