Feeling so lost

On Monday my boyfriend packed up his things and moved out of our apartment. No warning, no real explanation. But I know it's because of my depression. I'm 35 years old and I loved him more than I've loved anyone in my whole life and I destroyed our relationship. I know that it's not my fault exactly, but I don't know how to go on living knowing that this thing inside me that I have no control over has taken away the thing I loved most in the world. I've been trying to get treatment, but nothing has helped so far. My meds are doing nothing. I'm also completely alone because I moved across the country to go to school so I don't know that many people and my family is over 2000 miles away. I feel so lost right now. I don't know any of you, but I needed to tell someone, anyone at all who might understand.