Every Day

When you want to die but dont know how. Everyday I try to give myself a pep talk, I want to do better, be positive. I want to ignore the self pity and suffocate myself with the efforts of positivity. I want to improve my self worth and die at my pinnacle. But how do I find my purpose? I feel like every day is ladened with stress and anxiety and just when I conquer the day the next is already here, maiming my consciousness further.