Depression and Listeners
I appreciate what 7cups is doing on this site,
but I think more better training should be made.
Because as someone depressed, I don't want someone who barely knows me to say I am a good person and comparing me with others, saying "were all in the same boat"
Nor do I need opptimistic comments that only make me feel worse.
Instead I would prefer someone who can ACTUALLY relate, and not start rambling about how "magical" the world is.
I really hoped I could find someone who would just "Listen"
It feels like it's too much to ask, and then you have people giving you life advice lessons, before even asking about how I FEEL.
and it would just be so much more comforting to be able to connect and talk to people my age. who understand what depression is like.
Now even trying to find the right listener I have to go through pages and pages.
actually another thing I would add, is maybe not refering to listeners as trusting friends, because I seem to be a job they need to solve to skip to the next person.
I know there are amazing listeners out there who would make me feel safe and heard, but it feels like finding a needle in a BIG pile of hay. It gets tiring, I just wish the search could narrow down to exactly what kinda person I want to talk to :/
Age, culture, gender, sure some dont care, but others prefer a certain type of person,
like I am atheist and I don't want to be connected to a religious freak, or talking with a teenager whos in college and I'm over that. And sometimes I'd like to get a view point from someone of my gender, too much to ask?
Just looking for someone with experience...it's so freaking difficult to find someone to connect to! I'm getting even more depressed about this.....
@majora2016 what kind of a listener are you looking for? Like what age range, gender etc. Obviously someone who is going through or has been through the depressive symptoms you relate to?
@xbetman looking for a genuine listener who gets what depression feels like I guess.
@majora2016
Hey! I'm really sorry to hear you've chatted with many Listener who didn't actually tried to listen and understand you but who rather tried to give you their perspective and advice. I know many beginners are doing that because it's actually hard to learn how to practice active listening and it takes time, patience and committment to become better at this!
A few tips that could help you identify those good Listeners around here:
1) completed the Depression training (they will have a Silver circle badge called 'Depression')
2) have a bunch of good reviews there on their profile
3) have stated in their profile about their relationship with depression, if any (personal or professional)
These 3 things may not always give you a good perception of what that Listener is good at but could be a good start in your 'selective search'.
Also, try to state your expectations in the beginning of the chat. Many Listeners are stating their expectations and limitations to members so why not do that as a Member too?
Hopefully you will find a good Listener soon enough. Good luck!
@cristiana33
Thanks for the advice.
But my main expectation is simply "listen" lol
I've only come to the point to ask for "specific types" because I have no choice but to get desperate lol
at this point, I don't even know how to stress that enough.
I just want to feel like I am heard. make sense?
I was thinking though, how about 7cups have listeners with a "beginner's badge"
you know, like when drivers can't drive too well. And people can be like "aww they're just beginners!!! It's no wonder" *smiley face and no complaints*
I know as a listener you want us to understand that, beginners can't help giving advice!!
Because they are only human :) I get that!
But actually most listeners don't say much about limitations and expectations.
They say !I love to help! I can help you!
so I think "yaaay" lol
I get it Cristana :) You want us members to stop being so demanding!
were all just human! we need to give and take. And I'm down with that. But I just hope to meet more listeners who can empathize and relate. Not ones who push their advices on others because this site is free. It is. And I'm glad someones willing to try help. But I don't want to keep "believing" that I'm gonna get help when it keeps making me feel worse.
it almost feels like a lottery at this point lol
@majora2016
Uhm no I didn't said you are demanding or anything. It's normal to want to just vent and feel hears, supported, appreciated, after all that's what this site is based on. I was just telling you what I noticed based on different opinions and complains published around the forum. It's okay to take it or leave it. :)
