Dark chocolate and sea salt

Feel really really down. Don't know why. 😕 I'm taking a week off from my busy work schedule, but it seems like taking time off is worse. My mothers death last year, I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I lost her, the best nicest sweetest person in my life. It will be her one year death anniversary this weekend. Also, guilt that I didn't see it coming despite being a healthcare worker. Empty days are difficult to get through. It seems like I don't even feel like taking the effort to do something productive. Feel like lying in bed all day. Like not taking the trouble to make an effort to do anything. Depressive symptoms are worse now ..after one of my meds was stopped due to side effects. Just looking for bits and pieces .. glimmer of hope to get me through the days