Cant Tell the Wife

You seem to believe she's being very conflicting with demanding openness whilst threatening over certain facts that may involve, I'm sorry. It is a very confusing situation indeed. What have you tried to improve the current depression?

@coffeehog

Have you tried finding a therapist to help with the depression? Of course, the listeners here at 7 Cups can work with you, and we have the self-help guides as well. It sounds like going through this alone is going to be pretty tough for you.

Man, I don't think it's right for her to threaten you if you get depressed again. I suffer with anxiety and I can't control it. If my wife said don't have anxiety or I will leave, I would have to just tell her to go because I can't do anything about it other than helping to cope with it and reduce it. It sounds like she doesn't understand depression. Have you talked to her about it? Maybe you can both go together to a pyschologist so she can better understand and also help support you.

Have you tried telling her what's on your mind? And not in a depressing way. A relationship should be symbiotic, like each other's sponge, to absorb and soften some of the blows. It would be nice of her to step in rather than stepping away. That in and of itself is like stepping on you. Do you think sharing your core problems with a listener might help?

She can regulate her responses to your actions (i.e. "If you keep swearing at me I'm going to leave") but trying to tell you how to feel is insane. And if your depression if causing you to behave in ways she finds unnacceptable, ultimately only talking it through will help your relationship.

Her behavior sounds controlling to me, frankly.