An open letter to my boyfriend

Babe, I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know who I am anymore. I'm comparing our relationship to what I think other bf/gf's would do.. I should miss you after not seeing you for over a month, I should want to hold you, hug you, make love to you, I shouldn't get annoyed when you tag me in cute or funny animal posts on social media, I shouldn't get annoyed when you tell me you love me 3 times a day and i should know if I still love you... I don't know what's me anymore, what's my depression or what's my medication. I don't know why I don't tell you things or how I'm feeling, I don't really know what or how I'm feeling myself. I do know all you want to do is be there for me and want me to be happy.. I can't remember the last time I was happy.. I really do appreciate you not giving up on me and sticking by me through this tough time no matter how many I times I tell you I want to be alone in my room all the time. I think I have a long way to go and to be honest I don't know whether to tell you to try make me fall in love with you again or to call it a day and not string you along through all of this while I try figure myself out, because right now I don't know the person I'm going to be if or when I get better. I'm getting upset writing this so I must still love you?