Advice on how to deal with people who don't believe depression is a real thing
I had a huge fight with someone very close to me a few days ago (now have stopped talking mutually) because they kept saying "Don't be sad", "don't be so stressed out", and things like that. I tried to explain to them how that's the same thing as telling someone with cancer to stop having cancer.
Then, they started telling me how cancer is totally different because that's a "real thing" and you can actually see the physical symptoms. Apparently, they think depression isn't a real thing and it's something that pharmaceutical companies made up to make money.
Because things were getting way too intense even to a level where it was becoming very unhealthy in terms of my mental health, I suggested going to a therapy together so that there's a third person neutrally guiding us through this discussion. But they were arguing that a therapist/phychologist can't be possibly neutral because they are the ones who get to keep their jobs by diagnosing people with depression and other unreal mental illnesses.
It's so frustrating and I don't know what to do.
As much as I love other parts of this person, I don't think I can deal with this side that thinks what I'm suffering from isn't a real thing. I don't think I can be with someone like this for a long time. Even worse, they even think the scientific research behind depression is all made up; for example, they think the brain scans that show the difference between the depressed and the non-depressed is also exaggerated or something so that doctors and pharmaceutical companies can make money. What do I do with someone like this? How can I get them to be a little more supportive?
If anyone can please give me advice on how to be with someone who does not believe depression is a real illness, I will be very grateful.
Thank you!
Your post really hit home with me because I go through this a lot with various people in my life- my husband especially. He can be wonderful sometimes, but he has absolutely no understanding of mental illness. He gets mad and tells me "I wish I could just choose to be sad all week so I wouldn't have to do anything".... and other crappy comments like that. It hurts so bad when people act like we have control over the illness, and that it isn't a "real" thing. I wish I knew what to tell you to help the other person understand. I personally have tried printing articles on depression (and my other illnesses) and asking my husband to read them. We have had lengthy discussions about it all. We went to a therapist once together, and I felt like he was actually trying to fake out the therapist by acting all understanding....
The thing is, for me anyway n maybe for you too, we need our feelings, and our illnesses, to be validated. And when people we are closest to say things like "just get over it" they don't understand how painful it can be. I don't think they are trying to be mean- it's just that this is hard on them too, and many people don't know how to react. I wonder if it would help if you tried finding a support group for people who are close to people with depression? Or maybe a printout guide or something? Just a thought. I hope you find the answers you're looking for!
