don't know what to do
Hi. I've been dealing with major depression for a while now. I've been in therapy and I see a pdoc. It's related to meeical issues. I ended up having a hysterectomy and my ovaries removed middle of Aug. I've gone thru infertility treatments prev. Had 2 miscarriages and no kids. While I feel better physically, emotionally I'm not okay. I'm really struggling right now. And my sister just announced she's pregnant. Right now, I really don't care. I have alot of anger and resentment now. Anytime I'm with my family, all they do is talk about the baby. It's slowly killing me inside. If I say anything to them, it would probably turn into a yelling match. I've tried writing letters, all that comes out is alot of anger. I can't send them that. I'm doing alot of avoiding right now. On top of that, my hormones are way off. I'm on an estrogen patch, waiting on my gyn to call back so I can hopefully increase it. I'm incompletely miserable right now. Life just plain sucks. Thanks for listening.
My advice is just don't feel guilty for feeling anger and resentment, thats you processing some really shitty things that have happened. You need to focus on yourself and thats not selfish thats just a healthy step in dealing with your own business.
Oh my heart goes out to you when I hear what you have been through @mistpete.. this is so hard and so recent. It is a lot to deal with.So its not surprising that you are feeling depressed and there is a lot of anger and resentment. Yes you are better physically, but emotionally in upheaval, and especially with the news of your sister's pregnancy and the family's response to this.. which is normal. But the timing for you is so hard. You will be grieving for what you have lost. Keep writing if it is helping to express the anger, and you don't need to send the letters. Suggest you need comfort and support,which may come from others rather than your family right now.. friends, listeners here,and others you may think of. We care and are here for you.