Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

Hi, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I wish someone could share your experience.

I'm 24 years old and since the puberty I've been dealing with problems with my menstrual cycle. When I was about 12 years a doctor prescribed me the pill to control my irregularities and the cysts I had. Then I went a lot of years without gynecological attention, and when I was 19 I started taking the pill again, I did it for about 3 or 4 years, and last year I decided to quit because I was concerned about the side effects. Some months after that I started having lots of problems including depressive crysis that would last weeks. A few months ago I went to the doctor, and I have a big hormonal imbalance, ths cysts are back, my right ovarie is overgrown and I've havn't been ovulating for months, I asked her if the depression could be related and she told me it's quite likely so she prescribed me again the pill, I started taking it a month ago and honestly I feel way worse, today is the first day in two weeks that I feel normal.

I know there are lots of factors that could be contributing to my state, but I have the feeling that the pill is one of the big ones, it would be great if someone out there that has a similar story could share it with me.

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful evening :)

I feel useless and worthless and that I'm just a burden to everyone around me. I feel like I can't do anything and anything I do manage to do ends up being completely meaningless. I try and I try to make people around me happy and work at doing what i can to make life better but then they just turn around and tell me I have it easy. That just because I can't do things fast or get up early I am not worth anything. I feel terrible and that everything I do is not enough. These useless feelings are so frustrating to me.

I feel inadequate. I feel like I cause all the problems. I'm ill and not able to get my nephew today and now, everyone is upset with me. I'm the cause of everyone's problems. My mum is upset with me because I haven't picked up my nephew. My sister is upset with me because her boss is mad at her for not being able to go in today.

I felt a bit alone today. I literally didn't want to get out the bed.

I feel dead inside...

Today I feel normal I guess. The sadness is still there but it isn't that painful today I got called fat though which makes me feel like I'm going to cry now and I recently just started eating again getting closer to the darkness again and it hurts so much I don't really feel like I'm living anymore just surviving. I feel like all my problems just keep pushing me down again when I feel like I'm improving so yeah but I haven't cried yet which is a bonus I guess

I'm just waiting for the day I lose it tbh...It's not far considering the fact that every year gets waaay worse for me. I'm at my lowest and I haven't even graduated yet...I swear, my dreams are affected by all of this too. I haven't had one dream where I haven't woken up scared. I hate having to help everyone else when I can't even fix myself! I have to pretend to be happy and honestly, my subtle signs of crying for help are just so obvious now. I don't even care. I'll let people know I wanna die. I just really don't care. I don't wanna try anymore. I already know how this is going to end. I just give up.

I feel overwhelmed. I need someone there for me. I feel all alone.

I feel ill and restless.

To all those struggling, I just want to say this:

You ARE worth it. You are valued so much. People care about you--myself included. Thank you so much for being alive, I mean it. You are so, so important. Keep your head up. You can do this, I promise. You can get through this. Please keep going.

Need hugs? Click here! ♥