Alone.
I am laying here trying to takea nap and just crying, instead, for no reason. It's just that everything everywherehurts without explanation there is no one in my life that I feel I can discuss this with. The girl who is supposed to be my best friend today looked at me and said, "you don't need more medicine, you just need to be happy! Stop being sad!" She had no clue how very wrong she was and there was no way for me to tell her.
I just feel so alone. So empty. And so hopeless.
Don't feel alone, it can be hard when you are feeling down for friends, sometimes they don't know how to deal or react, especially when they don't know what your going through, try not to let your friends words get to you, I'm sure she cares a lot for you. Have you tried watching a comedy to try and cheer you up a bit ? Or reading a book can make you feel sleepy. X
I am desireless. I want nothing. No food or drink or book or action sounds enjoyable. I want to slip away particle by particle like a sandstorm slowly fading into nothing.
That's the hard bit, you have to try and make it enjoyable, it's abit like when someone goes to the gym, they really don't want to go, but as soon as they get there they enjoy it. Maybe forcing yourself to do things and telling yourself to enjou it might help.xx
If you're feeling sad, that's okay. Whatever you're feeling, it's the way it is for you right now. I think you're friend probably meant well. I think if people haven't gone through it, they don't know what to say. So, unfortunately sometimes they say the wrong thing. It's important for you to be gentle with yourself. Accept that this is how you're feeling right now. Maybe, every day, try to think of one thing you can try to make yourself feel better. Be it something as simple as a hot shower. Or as big as hanging out with friends. Take it one day at a time. If you think you need it, don't be afraid to seek professional help. It can get better. You dont have to needlessly suffer in silence. You deserve to feel better. Take care.