overcoming guilt
when I was a child, I had many violent meltdowns and tantrums because of undiagnosed mental health conditions. I recently started trying to figure out why I SH and all my buried feelings came up about this. I feel extremely guilty for ruining my childhood and putting my parents through that. I’ve heard my mom talk about how I changed the family dynamic and now everyone constantly has to walk on eggshells around me. I rarely have meltdowns anymore but I feel like everyone resents me for it and I ruined all fun experiences, like vacations and holidays because of it. It’s been really weighing on me because I just feel so guilty and sad. I disrupted our entire family almost every night with my kicking and screaming and tears and that’s not something I can feel fine about.
the whole point of this is that I desperately need help overcoming this. I can’t talk to my parents about this because I feel to bad and I’d start sobbing.
@b00kishbard
If you have had childhood issues due to mental illness... did they get you any help for your outburst or assume it was basic childhood acting out. ?
The reality is i think many people have had ruined relationships based on actions often out of their control and denial or refusal to seek help only made it worse....
I think people can work past these moments not hold things that were done as kids as reasons to not develop new adult relationships... i get not wanting to rehash old pain but moving forward sometimes means revisiting the past to put things to bed for good.
