Struggling

I've felt like this for around 4 years now. Sometimes it comes and goes every month, like there's a break for 2 months then for 3 months it's js 💩. Rn, it's on and off. Idk what to do. Idk if it's depression, haven't spoken out to a counselor cuz the one in my school is very untrustworthy and I'm def not telling my parents abt this. What do I do.