Rant.
Lately, I've been feeling down in the dumps. A lot. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, or where my heart lies. All I know is that I do, but don't want to feel this way at the same time. I recently auditioned for a play that I really wanted to be cast in. Callbacks were just recently announced, and I didn't get one. I have missing work and feel that my mind is spiraling out of control. I feel that I'm failing. I don't want to be disappointing to anyone, but myself. At least that I can handle. I don't know what to do. I choose my words carefully, as to not offend the wrong person. I want to leave. I'm tired of the pain. The struggle. I want to leave. Why does this happen to nobody else, but me? Perhaps I'll be happier off someplace else. I want to understand. Not heal necessarily, but understand.
Well I can promise it doesn't just happen to you I just joined this app and what you wrote is me to the T except I've never been in a play I am truly sorry for what you're going through but I know this you are absolutely not failing the only way you can fail is give up the only advice I can really give it sounds silly but it is helps me get through so much and it's as simple as one step at a time I also get that spiraling feeling and think everything is going wrong and try to figure out how to completely fix everything and make life perfect and happy again and I get lost in that and accomplished nothing so I've learned to pick one thing in my power to accomplish for the day one simple thing and that gets me out of the mindset improves my mood and lets me step back and evaluate things with a clear mind.
@Celc So sorry to hear that.
I hope things get better for you soon.
What you're feeling is normal for depression. Hating it, but also finding a strange, twisted comfort in it that prevents you from trying to escape from the feeling. The feeling of being a failure and a disappointment. Wanting out. It's all part of this terrible sickness that you're dealing with.
Even the journey to understanding what's going on inside your head, and why it's happening is long and difficult, but you're not alone with it. There are people who understand, and people who can help - remember that. There's no need to force yourself to fight this alone.
Good luck, and I hope that with time and effort, you'll be able to both understand and heal from this.
I am feeling very tired and bored all the time. I feel like I am being dramatic and self sabotaging my routine. I am experiencing burnout and I really wish I could find some happiness in my life. In fact having a routine and not being ae to follow it makes me feel even more disappointed. I feel like life is a drag these days