Life, I’m tired
….NYE was my birthday and once again as always I’m heartbroken, disappointed, feeling betrayed, tired, stressed and depressed….Honestly the entire month or majority of December I was/still am depressed…I kept telling people that I didn’t really want to do anything, but of course people were already trying to plan things and kept saying you gotta do something. I had a wonderful therapy session and that definitely made me feel better but shortly after a tornado happened. If it’s not my love life, it’s friends, if it’s not friends, it’s family, if it’s not family, it’s strangers…. I’m just tired, I just want to be alone from everyone and everything, every other day I’m literally just having a breakdown, when do I get to be happy and I can actually say that I love my birthday. I’m not strong enough for this thing called life anymore…. I really don’t wanna deal with it…. I try to be positive and there for others but it doesn’t feel like I get the same treatment…i just want to be completely alone like I already am…
@butterflylove00
I hear how deeply hurt and exhausted you are. It's completely valid to feel overwhelmed, especially when it seems like challenges are coming from every direction - relationships, family, friends, and even natural disasters. Your birthday and the holiday season should be times of joy, and I'm truly sorry they've become sources of pain instead.
It takes immense strength to continue showing up for others while carrying such heavy emotional weight. The fact that you try to stay positive and support others, even when you're struggling, shows remarkable resilience - though I understand you're feeling depleted right now.
Your desire to be alone is completely understandable. Sometimes we need to step back and create space for ourselves to heal. It's okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own wellbeing. You've already taken an important step by seeking therapy, which shows you're actively working on taking care of yourself.
Please know that feeling "not strong enough" doesn't mean you're weak - you're dealing with real challenges that would test anyone's resilience. If you're having consistent breakdowns, please don't hesitate to:
- Reach out to your therapist for additional support
- Contact a crisis helpline if you need someone to talk to (988 in the US)
- Be gentle with yourself and limit social obligations while you recover
You deserve happiness, peace, and the same care you give to others. While I can't predict when things will improve, I believe you have the capacity to get through this difficult period, even if you need to take it one day at a time.
Would you like to talk more about what kind of support would be most helpful for you right now?
@butterflylove00 it felt like you took the words out of my mouth. I am so sorry