Letting my emotions control my actions and responses

I’m new on 7cups. I have a hard time communicating how i feel or what things has made me think and feel without getting too overwhelmed and exploding. I have tried what felt like everything to keep myself together while trying to talk about what’s going on inside my head as well as be able to listen to someone else’s side. My emotions have always been a super complicated thing for me to grasp. When i feel like i lose the control and calm down later, i get filled with guilt and remorse for the things i did or said in the heat of the feelings. These things have almost cost me someone i love dearly and someone that loves me dearly. Even on the days it’s hard for me to truly believe.

I have struggled with depression and plenty sorts of mental health issues since i was pretty little. But there has to be more to life than the emptiness or overwhelming thoughts. I have been inpatient and outpatient for these issues and been through my fair share of therapy services, which never seemed to really help me understand myself.

So far 7cups has showed me so many people who truly understand to their core how these things feel, which i realize was something that kept lacking in all the services i tried. None of them ever seemed to truly understand or be able to explain things to me that i’d be able to understand. So many people here know how to break things down in a way i can understand how to help myself without it feeling overwhelming or arrogant of me.