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Is it depression or just part of my journey

User Profile: conscientiousCoconut8216

I am new in7cups.  I discovered 8 months ago that my spouse had someone else in his life. We broke up.  I lost more than the relationship but also our summer house and retirement plans. I just turned 59. 2 adult children with whom i have a solid relationship but they have their life. Overall, I am pretty certain I am over the loss of my spouse (still some bubbles of all kinds of emotions but not lasting) but I have still not reconnected with my optimistic happy self. I am not enjoying life as I used to and am not able to figure out what I can dream of.  I am functional and active but feel things are mostly boring. Can it be phase of my grieving journey or is it likely depression? Do I just need to be patient and trust the process?

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User Profile: BlueSoul2290
BlueSoul2290 August 11th

@conscientiousCoconut8216

I'm truly sorry to hear about what you're going through. I think it is normal to feel a mix of emotions, even months later. It might be part of your grieving process, and it can take time to reconnect with the things that used to make you happy.
so I think it's also important to allow yourself time to rebuild your life and find joy again. Maybe exploring new hobbies or spending more time with friends could help,Sometimes talking to someone can really help. 
and remember healing takes time., and there's no right or wrong way to grieve. and it's okay to take things one day at a time.and it's okay to ask for help if you need it.
I hope you start feeling better soon 🙏
1 reply
User Profile: conscientiousCoconut8216
conscientiousCoconut8216 OP August 11th

Thank you! I am scared I won’t feel like myself ever again… Your response is comforting 🌺

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 August 11th

@conscientiousCoconut8216

I would agree with the other poster it can be the grieving process of a life taht you had planned is not going to be... I also think some in your shoes expect everything to be great once apart but you find yourself alone .... not sure where to go or do things you used to may not seem as fun or filling.... 

Any new chapter in life ... no matter if we thought about it for a long time each day may seem different the ah-ha change on your journey could be right around the corner or down the road farther.   try to live in the moment and open yourself to new and hope that lifts the fog. 

1 reply
User Profile: conscientiousCoconut8216
conscientiousCoconut8216 OP August 11th

@toughTiger6481

while I have been in therapy for 40 + years (yep, complicated life!) I am new to online support groups. I am both surprised and grateful to see what a difference it makes to be heard… Thanks for reaching out and please know it DOES make a difference in my life today 🌞

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