I need help!

I am literally feeling like I’m having a mental breakdown I’m so sick of being alone for the holidays. Everyone around me is happy and have someone and I’m stuck alone with my kids. I want my

kids to experience having a family like setting I’m so depressed granted I should be grateful for the things I have but I don’t even want to celebrate the holidays but I’m forced to because I have kids I just want to lay under my bed and be in the dark in hibernation