How to Deal with Bullying (Hayes & Herbert, 2011, pp. 159-160, 166, 169)

Here are seven major ways of dealing with all kinds of bullying. Keep in mind that not all of them are suitable for all situations. It can be difficult to work out which one is best for which situation.

1. Wait and see if it happens again. For some people, the bullying behavior has only happened once. It may not happen again and it might be for the best to not exacerbate the situation by confronting the individual who did it. Maybe it was a mistake; maybe the individual who said it or did it was not directing their anger towards you. You have the right to do nothing and wait and see.

2. Walk away. Teach yourself to walk away from a situation in which you feel unsafe or threatened. Keep your shoulders back and your head up. With the person who is doing the bullying still in your sight, walk away. Ignoring it and thinking positive thoughts, finding your friends or another group of people and staying with them, or making a joke about it are additional ways to respond to bullying.

3. Ask the person doing the bullying to stop. Asking the person who has upset you to stop is a difficult task and must be thought about carefully. Consider the environment you are in and if people who are bullied are encouraged to speak up or not. If you decide to confront your perpetrator, share:

   • What, where, when - Yesterday in the break room you called me a selfish ***.
   • How you felt and the impact it had - I felt insulted and very angry.
   • What you want to happen now - I never want you to say that again.

4. Write a letter or email to the person doing the bullying. Say what you would have said if you had been able to say it to their face.

5. Ask a bystander to help. If there was someone who saw what happened or what was said, ask them to get involved.

6. Ask a peer or a person in a position of authority to mediate.

7. Make a formal complaint.

No matter the situation, if you are suffering from being bullied it is helpful to talk to someone about it. If you are frightened of confiding in someone closely involved with the situation, there are other people who can support you (i.e. a neighbor, your doctor, a friend’s parents, an extended family member, an older sibling). A problem shared is a problem halved.

Source: 7 Cups bullying training