@shamyu
Hello,
Thank you for opening up about something so personal and challenging. It's clear that you're deeply aware of how your actions have affected your loved ones, and your willingness to address this issue is a significant and courageous step.
It sounds like your lying, especially in moments of panic, has been a way to protect yourself from the fear of upsetting others or facing uncomfortable truths. This habit can be incredibly tough to break, especially when it's tied to anxiety or a fear of consequences.
One approach you might consider is focusing on the underlying feelings that drive the urge to lie. When you feel panic rising, try to pause and recognize what’s happening inside you. Are you afraid of judgment, or are you worried about disappointing someone? Acknowledging these feelings can sometimes help reduce their power over your actions.
Practicing self-compassion can also be very helpful. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and wanting to change is a positive step forward. When you catch yourself in a moment of panic, try to replace the urge to lie with a different, more honest response. It might help to prepare some responses in advance for situations where you feel tempted to lie.
Additionally, building trust with your loved ones will take time and consistent effort. Openly communicating your struggles with them, when you feel ready, can also help rebuild trust. Letting them know you're working on this issue and sharing your efforts and progress can be a meaningful way to demonstrate your commitment to change.
Remember, it's a process and there will be ups and downs. Be patient and kind to yourself along the way. Your genuine desire to improve and your courage to face this challenge are truly admirable. You're taking important steps toward positive change, and that's something to be proud of.