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Family Problems

mentalityshake January 4th, 2023

Today I was submitting a college application, and it honestly seems like more trouble than its worth. I'm only in it because I know that I have to get away and it will get better otherwise I would have dropped out of the whole process. My sister was all up in my case. Because she gave me ideas of what to write for my supplemental, she's acting like I'm beholden to her. Like I have to change my behaviour and she cannot accept that I didn't check my phone and see her message when she sent it ten minutes ago and she got really mad for some reason. And my mom agreed with her. My mom is acting like my sister is just saying what she's thinking and feeling. And she always complains about me to my sister. As I was submitting my application, I was reading it aloud to my mom, and both my mom and sister had problems with the way I was talking and my voice of all things. I can't change my voice.

I just feel so trapped. There's nothing I can do to make my life better. And this isn't new. They've always been like this. I wish I could tell them how they make me feel. And when they say that my voice and the things that I do are stupid, it makes me feel like I'm stupid and worthless. I don't deserve to live. I know that they're not right to do this but why would they do it if they were wrong about me?

Anyone else having family problems?

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Nobodyimportantmn January 4th, 2023

@mentalityshake I know how hard it must be. You should tell your mom and sister how you feel, they may not want to hear it, or they might not understand, they may not even know that they were hurting you. You won’t know until you try. You can write it on paper or tell them, and if it helps have someone you trust with you while you tell them.

talking about this does help get through it. I have felt that way too at times both as a child and as an adult.

1 reply
mentalityshake OP January 4th, 2023

@Nobodyimportantmn Thanks for advice. Whenever I try to start this conversation, I always get told that I have to "understand how the other person feels". It just feels like they act like they can say whatever to me and then their feelings are more important than mine

1 reply
Nobodyimportantmn January 4th, 2023

@mentalityshake

I am sorry that’s a really tough thing to deal with! I am sure it’s an emotional drain as well. One thing to always remember is that you are alive, you’re special, you are doing the right thing by talking about this plus your feelings are important and there are people who do want to hear about your feelings. And most of all you are not alone. And talking about this is a step closer in the right direction.

1 reply
mentalityshake OP January 5th, 2023

@Nobodyimportantmn Thank you

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bestVase7265 January 5th, 2023

Family issues can be such a challenge. It sounds like doing college applications is a good idea. Are you going to be able to live away from home for college? It would help not to have those negative voices around. You may be much closer to feeling better than you think.@mentalityshake

2 replies
mentalityshake OP January 5th, 2023

@bestVase7265 Thanks. And yeah, I'm going to be across the world from my parents, and probably very far from my sister too.

1 reply
bestVase7265 January 6th, 2023

So what you need to do is focus on getting to that point by finishing the applications. Show your family as little of your college application work as possible so that don't have room to comment on it. Trust that you are doing a good job and that you will find a good fit for school.

Make sure ahead of time that you know what mental health resources that the school offers. You may need some extra help those first few semesters as you adjust and process.

You can do this. Your family is not going to define your future. @mentalityshake

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