Depressed Mom

@isahappygirl

I think many of us find out too late what our parents went through or how they were dealing with their own life ... we just saw parents did not occur to us they were people too going through things. too...... many like you and I saw things we wish we could tell them how it makes so much more sense now .... 

we can not turn back time and fix that so maybe just say it out loud and hope you can take taht lesson forward and be more open with others in your life. 

hey, I am sorry you are going throug this, I randomly saw this on the site. I wanted to contribute as I just lost my dad, he was very sick and due to circumstances out of my control, there isn't anything else I could have done to be there for him, but I feel like I could have maybe called more often, but due to the distance it was making it hard to worry, and now I feel that I didn't want to hear him on the phone as he was in pain, and I feel like I couldn't bear hearing him that way. I did talk to him on a few occasions and I was getting updates through my mom. I did go visit him and I did tell him and showed him how I felt when I was there. I just don't know if I could have done anything else. I feel that some form of what if seems to be a normal occurrence or reaction... I am no expert on this, but this is just my interpretation. You are not alone and you have all the support for your loss. I am sorry  know how painful it is and hard to keep inside with no one to talk to maybe if that ie the case. I was already dealing with grief as he was so ill. I pray that he like your mom is at peace. I think death teaches us, some of us, not all of us, I felt very ambivalent about my parents when they were alive, then I really started to feel bad when they got sick. You are human and I think the fact that you can realize this is a gift and shows empathy and compassion for your mom

and yeah I would like to add that being an introvert doesn't make it easier to open up if you are, don't be too hard on yourself. I know it feels bad but you didn't know what you know now, and unfortunately wisdom is something that is gained only later, I am sure our parents made mistakes which they were also oblivious to with their own families... the majority of us don't really mean to be bad or create conflict or have regrets later on.