A friend who's suffering
Hi - i'd really appreciate your advice if you have any. A friend reached out today and they're really suffering. They used the words 'crippling depression', 'no way out' and 'going on for years'. They're struggling to work, go to the shops and basically get through the day. They said that their doctor isn't really providing the help that they feel they need and, in any event, it's not working. I got the sense that they just wanted me to know what they're going through rather than 'fix it'. But I was just wondering what you thought it terms of the support that I should be offering.
@BryanM99
It’s clear that you care deeply about your friend, and that’s a wonderful foundation for support. When someone expresses feelings of “crippling depression” and a sense of having “no way out,” it reflects profound pain and struggle. Here are some additional ways you can provide meaningful support:
#Deep Listening
Encourage your friend to share their thoughts and feelings. Use open-ended questions to help them express themselves more fully, such as, “Can you tell me more about what you’re feeling?” This shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding their experience.
#Normalize Their Experience
Remind them that it’s okay to struggle. You might say, “Many people go through periods of feeling lost or overwhelmed. It doesn’t mean they are weak.” Normalizing their feelings can help reduce any shame they may feel about their situation.
#Offer Consistent Check-Ins
Regularly reaching out can show that you care and are there for them. A simple message or call to ask how they’re doing can remind them that they’re not alone in their journey.
#Encourage Connection
If they’re open to it, gently suggest engaging in activities that could bring them joy or comfort, whether that’s a walk in nature, watching a favorite show, or simply sitting together in silence. Connection can sometimes provide relief from isolation.
#Highlight Their Strengths
Remind them of their resilience and past successes, no matter how small. Reflecting on times when they’ve navigated challenges can help foster a sense of hope.
#Be Patient and Non-Judgmental
Understand that their journey is personal and may involve ups and downs. Being patient and offering unconditional support can make a significant impact.
#Respect Their Space
While it’s important to be there for them, also be mindful of their needs for space. Sometimes, they may need time to process their feelings on their own, and that’s okay.
Your friend is fortunate to have someone as compassionate as you in their life. Your support can help them feel less alone and may even inspire them to seek further help when they’re ready. Remember, the impact of your kindness can be profound, even if it feels small in the moment.
Hi. Firstly I'd like to say that you are a great friend, to take this seriously and ask for help. They know it too.
The first thing they need is to feel heard and supported. It's completely OK if you don't understand them or if you think you can't help. Chances are they don't expect you to understand or help them.
But I promise that being there for them means the world to some. People need empathy, attentiveness, an open mind. The best thing you can do is not leave them alone. Maybe try and help them with their Daily activities, or helping them taking their minds off things with a walk, a tea, or anything that relaxes them.
