Am I depressed or not
I don't know if I'm depressed or not, I think the world is better without me, I show many symptoms, but it doesn't eat me up, it eats me when I get yelled at or fail repeatedly. I am a failure, I suck, even though I don't think about it. I realize I'm addicted to porn and the internet and how it affects my life, these emotions come out when I listen to kid cudi. I tried to relate to music, found so many emotions in me, took a depression test, played the depressed person, told myself many bad things, but they were true and they didn't affect me, when other people say them it does. Am I really depressed.
@indigoHouse922
I'm hearing 3 things:
-The opinions of other people are getting you down.
-The expectations of other people are getting you down.
-The comparisons to other people are getting you down.
What if you didn't think about any of them for 40 days? You just said 'That's just their opinion, they don't know me yet' to yourself whenever someone yells at you or tells you you failed at something.
The real you is just getting going. You have unique creativity and potential to do heroic things. What about those other things you thought about trying in life but never really got serious about them?
Put you in a different environment where you have a mission every day in life and you might just become the real you that is inside. There are things out there that you are going to be incredibly good at, a real natural, people are going to say 'damn why are you so good at this?'.
But first I think you should put in the earplugs for 40 days and decide that every time someone says something about you, you just say to yourself 'they just don't know me yet' and then wait to see the look on their face several years from now when you explore new things, learn new things, take big chances to try different kinds of work and the look on their face when you are a new person, successful and full of life. I'm praying for you.