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Crisis coping during a holiday

User Profile: discreetBirch6070
discreetBirch6070 December 16th

Can’t cope. I just found out my husband of 20 years was unfaithful. I’m not ok. I’m stuck in a situation where we are now going on a holiday with both sets of in-laws and my five kids (aged 15 to 1 year). Although I was having a panic attack about it this morning. How the *** am I supposed to go and have fun for 10 days and say nothing!?!?!? Gah!! And please don’t say I should leave cause obviously I really want to but due to the 5 kids and no job situation, I can’t!

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 December 16th

@discreetBirch6070

Like any major disruption it takes time to evaluate the whole situation... you said you just found out...... have you had a moment to digest what has happened. It is always a bad move to make any impulsive decisions.  You may also need to try to keep it to yourself until you have had a chance  to decide how you will proceed.  if you let it out and decide to forgive and stay it will be a issue if others do not respect it is YOUR decision. 

    With holidays and big family event it is unlikely you will have the time to really have time to have a complete honest and painful discussion.  Has he said anything about where he stands? ... does he want to stay in marriage? does he want to leave?   It most likely will not be fun but try to smile for your children and maybe they holiday will be a time to make sure if is the end it still was a good memory for kids.... it is awful when a a life event happens on a holiday as many will always revisit it each year..... take your time and process and start your new life ... either rebuilding or starting over in the new year.