Am I that bad?
Am I that bad at my job? Or is it my fear making me to believe that.
I get zero positive feedback from my job.
My job is not actually a job, I am a sceintist. There is so much to know, so much to learn. So much to consider.
I am getting older, all my years in science, 19 years including studentship, is it for nothing?
When am I going to feel satisfied? When am I going to be appreciated?
I feel so unsuccessfull, so worthless, incompetent, late... These feelings make me paralized, I can not work.
I hope I cover up soon.
@Ssamsymn
It is hard to stay the course in any job when you do not get feedback or the results to feel like progress is being made ...
It must be hard to go thru a lot of theories and experiments to not find a conclusive result. it takes a lot of self motivation to not get discouraged in that case.
It is very hard, thank you for your comment. And also I can not stop thinking about all the inbalances and bad behaviour in the work environment.
I am not appreciated at all... For almost 2 years. So exhausting.
And starting to doubt myself over and over again...