COVID and Psychosis
Ever since COVID started and continued, I've had constant episodes of psychosis as my brain cannot shut off the fear of getting sick due to my immunocompromised self possibly perishing. Since then, my anxiety, depression, apathy and of course, psychosis has been devastating me. I don't remember how a typical person without these things is supposed to act and that makes me equally as anxious as hopeless.
I've debated so many things, thought over things thousands of times, hallucinated thousands of times and yet i still don't have the grace of being taken seriously. It's as if no one can truly visualize me and see someone else instead, like I'm behind a thick pane and they only see a refracted version of myself. I wish they could understand but my brain is so rotted from having an episode every month every week i just want it to end so I can find the peace i was once blessed with. Please?
@ROBBER
Hello Robber
It sounds like you aren't feeling connected to or heard by the people around you, which can be so lonely and frustrating. think a majority of people find it hard to truly connect and understand others, so it is not just your brain that is at fault here...probably the people around you aren't so good at that either. Even many professional listeners/therapists find this hard, and we can leave feeling them unheard and alone.
I hear that you are very anxious and afraid of getting sick, and being immunocompromised that is a very real fear. It sounds like you feel you should (and want to) act in a particular 'appropriate' way, but are not sure how and this is stressful. People in general can be impatient, uncaring, and lack empathy or time, and I am guessing you are very sensitive to this?