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Non-functional bi-polar. I just can't.

Animal057 January 18th

I'm new here and not really sure what I'm doing. It's been a really, really, really rough couple of years. I asked my friend for help and he ran away. I had a mental breakdown and couldn't work. I started to pull myself up. I went back to work and got fired for something that I didn't do. I'm spiraling down again. I have been non-functional for weeks. I can't get up. I can't bring myself to do anything. I only get up when the urge to use the bathroom is too much. My friends don't understand why. I don't understand why. I found this story online a few days ago. I think it's helpful. I hope that it's okay to share this. Please let me know if I've done something wrong. Good luck to all of you beautiful people ❤️


RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week, I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial. Something more profound. But I didn’t. So I told him,

“Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it. What kind of grown woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with actual problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes? But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the *** aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares? Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon. The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry. But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES. RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!

Find More 👉👉👉Beautiful, Bizarre and Oddly Humorous

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edit ~ Kate Scott

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serenePeace3726 January 27th

@Animal057 i'm so sorry to hear you are going through this tremendously challenging time. please know you can reach out to me or any other listener who will listen and support with compassion and empathy. I really appreciated the story you shared, that was great, and so true. I might need to try to run my dishwasher a couple times myself. Hang in there my friend!

2 replies
Animal057 OP January 28th

Thank you for your support. It's been terrible lately.

1 reply
serenePeace3726 January 29th

@Animal057 I am so sorry to hear that. I understand that it can be so challenging, but hang in there. Also please feel free to reach out if you need a listening ear.

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PeaceLoveSerenity February 6th

Hi @Animal057.  Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I commend you for being brave enough to tell your therapist plain and simple what was bothering you. I appreciate this post so much because "rules" and the world's expectations and perceptions can completely consume and overwhelm some of us. I love that the therapist had a "so what" approach. Like, "says who?" Just run the dishwasher twice unapologetically.  If more of this was were applied, I think it would be surprisingly liberating for a lot of people. Just pause,  take a beat (meaning a step back) and give yourself grace. Be kind to "you". Please continue to share more and best wishes to you on flying above those moments. I can relate to everything you said because I have experienced it. You never know how sharing your story will impact the next person. Hugs!