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The hidden flip side of bipolar is Mania

Positron2 July 16th, 2018

Admin: Rather than necro a 2 year old topic I am starting it over.

When I go to the psychiatric Doctor, on her form she asks me to rate my depression from 1-10 and to rate my anxiety from 1-10. She never asks me to rate my mania from 1-10, but I make a point of telling her at every session.

Mania and hypomania are the hidden flip side (kids ask your parents) of bipolar. Depression and it's effects are easy to recognize. When I am manic I have tons of energy, drive, humor, ideas and it feels good. So what's not to like?

I don't like not being fully in control of my actions. I have a saying:
"Manic me writes checks that depressed me has to cover."
I am not talking about money, although it applies in cases of manic behavior, I am talking about when I am manic, I make promises and commitments that I don't feel like doing when my bipolar becomes depression. I bite off more than I can chew. I jump in over my head without looking. I make friends with not trustworthy people before they earn my trust.

I have been rather manic lately and yesterday I was bouncing off the walls. I got so much done! I cleaned, cooked, vacuumed, painted my car, fixed my radio controleled car, then I filmed and edited a YouTube video of my R/C car. I had a great day! Until I realized that I could not control my mouse. My hand was shaking and my fingers were clicking uncontrollably. I knew I had a problem and reached out for help.

I skyped a friend who congratulated me for recognizing the crisis and seeking her help. She said that she saw these symptoms building lately, but did not know what to do. I asked her to "Just be honest with me, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings if I am acting hyper. I need a reality check every now and then. Please let me know if I seem manic."

"So I can pump the brakes, before I crash."

I am disabled with bipolar, depression, hypomania, borderline personality disorder and anxiety.
I am abled with a 'never stay down for long, after a knockout punch' attitude.

What should this thread become for us?
Sharing our stories?
Teaching coping techniques?
How to overcome misconceptions about mania in public and at home.
To tell each other how to find resources about dealing with manic symptoms?

Let's work this issue together.

7
raspberryTurtle1451 July 23rd, 2018

I was only diagnosed about a year and a half ago, but the diagnosis made SO MUCH SENSE.

I'm bipolar ik, which I guess is more difficult to diagnose,particularly in 'high function I ng' people. High functioning is kinda baloney because although I'm getting dressed and goinf ro work through my hypomania, im still basically runining my life!

But damn it feels so good. People always tell me that I have so much energy and they envy that about me. They say that I'm so great at doing so much stuff! Like, y'all are praising me but I feel messy af and I think the praise made me dismiss the mess and justify it to therapists.

Until I jumped so deep into my own mess that I was thinking out suicide plans and crying uncontrollably.

So my high functioning self checked in at the emergency room and they admitted me, and then kept me for 7 days.

Now I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm managing and doing stuff like staying on top of 7 cups and I start therapy back up again this week. So that'll be good.

I'm tense and anxious, but I don't feel too messy at the moment. Hopefully I'm on my way to mindfully managing my symptoms and my illness.

1 reply
Positron2 OP July 23rd, 2018

@raspberryTurtle1451

I'm glad you are diagnosed and now you can tell the differnce between high energy and way too high enrgery from hypomania.

Best wishes in your recovery.

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