used...
a couple of months ago I was diagnosed with manic depression with bipolar disorder... i was so scared to let my family know, not because of me being afraid to admit it, but for what they are doing now...they criticize me, make jokes about my condition, and my mother blames it completely on my "father's side of the family" for me being "what I am". with all the jokes and the mental and verbal attacks they continue to do... at first I just laughed it off when inside I wanted to crawl in a hole and die somewhere... my husband is the only one they understands, but I still feel like I'm on a boat in an endless ocean... like I'm all by myself dealing and coping with who I am... it's just always a battle everyday... a battle I feel like I'm losing.
Butterfly, I know its a hard thing to deal with. Maybe they think by making jokes, that they are helping you, when theyre not. They dont understand because theyve never experienced it. Concentrate on the love and understanding of your husband and consider it a blessing that he does understand. Maybe try talking seriously with a family mamber that wont ridicule you and maybe they can get the rest of them to come around. My dad sexually molested me as a boy and I dont think he feels the least bit guilty about it or the fact that my counselor thinks that because of that and other things he did to me, that now im dealing with major depression, ptsd, and other things. This stuff is NOT a laughing matter, its serious situations. Take care and I will say a prayer that things get better for you. Bobby
JMHO....
I have heard many bipolar friends (I am not thankfully), who compare their feelings to floating in an ocean. It tells me you are overwhelmed with not just fighting the disorder but your family as well. And bipolar is a tough fight.
I am a strong believer in having a good therapist who knows bipolar well, and can support you regularly. You can always post here too. I know resources (i.e. money) can be a problem but there are free support groups in your area I am sure. Bipolar is serious and you simply cannot let ignorant remarks into your thoughts. There is no blame here. It's not anyone's fault. Try and enlist your family to be with you in this fight. If they cannot or will not, then try to ignore their hurtful remarks.
Know that with bipolar comes a lot of creativity. Many bipolars I know and have known, were creative artists and writers. The ups and downs of this disorder are really hard to manage by yourself.
Bipolar is one area where meds do seem to help a lot of people, if they follow the advice of their professional. Never start and stop, forget, or diagnose yourself. Be honest with your therapist about your meds.
A big hug and the best of luck.....
Totally understand.
