New here and hoping to find hope
I guess im just struggling in a way ive never felt before... Only diognosed 2 yrs ago due to mania episode that basically distroyed my whole life in what felt like seconds and havent been able to cope so well with it all ... And now learning that i HAVE to stay on my meds .... Which i am getting back in the morning after a long break from them... I feel like im losing my mind and cant seem to do the right thing... Again and again... I know whats right and i want it but i cant seem to physically do it at the moment it presents itself... Its killing me inside and im hurting the only person who is really there for me.... Im so lost right now . idk what to do
@Haylibug123 Make sure you look for all the positive things in life. Theres always something good to find. Look forward to everything good coming you way. Write down all the bad things you can think of, and rip the paper up into a million tiny peices, and throw them away.
You have a friend in me.
I’m the same way with my meds. I go off them and feel fine but, umm, other people notice the change in me so I go back on them. I’ve made a boatload of bad decisions during my manic phases. I know the guilt that I feel does make it seem like I am making all of the wrong decisions. Especially when my mania goes on for a long time. Like you, this happens when I am not on my meds. Don’t be lost. You are right here with people who understand what you are going through because we’ve been there ourselves. You are not alone in this, even though it feels that way.
@Haylibug123 the aftermath of my last hypomanic episode is making me struggle a lot with reasons to keep going with my life. I keep on reminding myself I need to stay alive and pay back some of the financial burden I caused my ailing parents. I keep on reminding myself to just work, live on the bare minimum, hug my blanket and keep on sleeping.