Family trouble

I am a freshman in college. I live with only my mother. I was just recently diagnosed with mood disorder. The past year has been horrible. I have had manipulative relationships. I have been sexually assaulted. My mother has told me I must hate her. My best friend and my first love both left me. I am having problems with my mother. My mother is very conservative and wants me to be the perfect daughter. But I feel like I'm walking on thin ice. As a teenager I want to explore and do some wild things. I know there is a limit to everything but my mother said if I even try any type of drug, I'm going straight to rehab. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be an addict but sometimes it feels like I can't have fun. I can't have guys over. I can't stay out late. I feel somewhat trapped in my house. On top of that my mother gets mad at me when I don't help around the house. She always uses the I work all week and I don't want to spend my weekend cleaning. But I'm a full time student with a part time job. I'm also in the honors program so I need my GPA above 3.5. And with my mood disorder I never get enough sleep so I end up passing out when I get home and then my mother yells that I must not love her because I don't help out. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough. I honestly don't think that unconditional love is real. All the love ice experienced always has some sort of condition. Being me is never good enough. I don't know what to do.