Current State with Bipolar

Just want to mini rant here what I’ve been experiencing due to my bipolar lately. Been on a long depressive episode for about 2 years now. I am getting to a point where I just want any type of relieve. I don’t want to be chronically fatigued and exhausted or irritable. I want to have hope for the future not feel like everything is pointless. Not sure what else to say besides this feels so awful right now I feel like my lack of presence would solve it.