Bipolar and Reality

@Im2Lucky I think my husband may be experiencing something similar. He has bipolar but lately it's been really bad. He keeps trying to convince me of his version of reality when he isn't feeling so good or stuck in a cycle. I can't tell what's real and what's a false memory. It's difficult because he's paranoid about the kind of person he used to be and is trying to convince me he's been a fraud and a liar. He's trying to convince me he had bad feelings about me and bad opinions and some of it is really hurtful. When I bring up how his version of reality has been different at different times, he just says he lied those other times out of shame. Like, there's a whole narrative that seems very paranoid to me. It's hard to argue because it's his feelings and who he is which is the topic but I genuinely believe it's paranoia and his version of how he sees himself changes based on his mood. This time it's really bad though and it's scary. He says he's not going to come out of this because if he does, it means he's lying. He's trying to stay in the cycle. I don't know what to do. I wish he could snap out of it.

I should start by saying your a gem trying to figure this out in your marriage. It is possible to have a solid relationship even with this Bipolar issue in the middle. I have been successfully married for 23 years thanks to a spouse that took her time to help me overcome many issues. People in mania often think of several things at the same moment and do not focus enough to commit to long term memory. This results in a form of foggy memory that gets filled in with erroneous ideals. Major events I record to my watch that allows me to backtrack. I find the way I remember things often are not correct only while in mania. Just the process of reviewing results in a correction of those memories. It’s extremely hard to convince a person that they do not record correctly. If you cannot trust your brain who can you trust? This will defiantly cause marriage issues. I hired a marriage counselor that was also trained with Bipolar. Between her and my psychiatrist they convinced me that I had it all wrong. Ten years worth of misaligned thoughts was a challenge. Mania is actually a process that destroys memories. It’s very important to take meds to offset the damaged caused.

People with bipolar disorder often report problems with memory and cognition. They have trouble with short- and long-term memory, think things through at subdued speeds, and have difficulty thinking outside that so-called box.

If you have a smartphone, use it to make to-do lists and take notes.

• Repeat things you need to remember several times in your mind; this gives your brain a better chance to properly encode the information.

One other thing you cannot take this personally. The person that they are in mania is often very different than they normally would be.