Supporting My Wife
Hello,
Mt wife was recently diagnosed with autism. It helps to explain a number of things about her.
We've been happily married for over 10 years with occasional ups and downs.
Currently she is struggling with what appears to be autistic burn out. For the last month I have covered virtually all home responsibilities (we have 3 kids), and am trying to be sensitive to her needs.
We are hitting 3 or 4 weeks in a row where I have done something to trigger a deep emotional spiral. Once we get there I seem to make things worse because I get so indecisive. I can't tell if I'm supposed to give her space or stay near. Sometimes what she needs (like me getting her specific food) also causes her to feel more guilt which seems to exasperate the symptoms. It's triggering to her when I ask questions during meltdowns (which can last days), but I don't know how to help so I default to asking questions.
I am extremely different from her, but I'm trying to understand and help. Currently feeling at my wit's end. Not sure if I have any specific question to ask here, but I'm nor sure what else to do.
@Tryingmybest4
You are dealing with learning new things to deal with her condition. It must seem much worse then before you even knew her diagnosis. It is hard to not know what to do sometimes space sometimes no space... it feels great to take as much off her as possible but you too will reach your end. Teamwork is important in this.
It takes time to see a new way forward... it is important to know her diagnosis but also remember she is capable of resuming her life with just a better understanding of her ups and downs. I have been there from a spouse who shared house chores to me carrying the load i appreciate a medical condition but it IMO was not a get out of everything and i get to carry the load by myself.
