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The Struggle of Being Autistic and Identifying Emotions
by Jenna
Last post
 October 26th
...See more **Disclaimer** I cannot and do not speak for all autistic people. As an autistic person, one of the biggest challenges I face is identifying and understanding my emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel emotions. In fact, I often experience them intensely, but I struggle to recognize and label them. This disconnect between feeling something deeply and not being able to articulate it can be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes, emotions feel like a wave crashing over me, but I can't tell if it's sadness, anger, or frustration. Other times, I know something is off, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. It's like having a whirlwind of feelings inside but no clear way to describe the storm. I might react to something, and later when I reflect, I realize I was angry or anxious, but in the moment, it was just a blur of overwhelming sensations. The process of identifying emotions can feel even more daunting for many autistic people because there’s often pressure to explain how they're feeling to others, but finding the right words doesn’t come easily. I tend to rely more on physical cues, like noticing if my body is tense, my breathing shallow, or my heart racing, as a way to recognize what I’m feeling. Sometimes it’s easier to express a feeling through a sound, like a sigh or groan, than to find the exact word to describe it. What adds to the challenge is that neurotypical people often expect quick, clear emotional responses. But for many of us with autism or neurodivergence, emotions take time to process. It can feel like we're on a delay, needing space to sit with what’s going on inside before we can understand or talk about it. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take that time and not rush to name my emotions if I’m not ready. Being autistic means we process the world differently, and that includes emotions. It’s a journey to understand them, and sometimes, we have to be patient with ourselves, accepting that we don’t always have the answers right away. I’ve learned to explore my emotions through journaling, creating art, or even just sitting with a feeling without trying to label it immediately. The struggle to identify emotions is real, but over time, I’ve come to see it as part of my unique way of experiencing life. For anyone else out there who shares this struggle, know that it’s okay not to have everything figured out all at once. Emotions can be complex, and finding your own way of understanding them is a process. Why Is It Difficult? * Alexithymia: A significant number of autistic people experience alexithymia, a condition where we struggle to identify and describe our own emotions. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions; instead, we find it hard to pinpoint what those emotions are or how they connect to our experiences. For example, someone might feel an overwhelming physical sensation (like a knot in their stomach) but may not realize that they are anxious or upset. * Sensory Overload: Many autistic people experience sensory sensitivities, which can lead to sensory overload. When overwhelmed by stimuli like loud noises, bright lights, or even social environments, the body and mind can react intensely. In these situations, it can be hard to differentiate between physical discomfort and emotional states. For instance, an environment that feels overstimulating may trigger frustration, but the frustration itself might be difficult to separate from the overwhelming sensory input. * Nuanced Emotions: Emotions often come in layers or blends (e.g., feeling both happy and sad at the same time). Identifying these complex emotional states can be challenging for anyone, but for those on the spectrum, this complexity can feel especially confusing. Autistic people might struggle to name nuanced emotions, such as feeling bittersweet, relieved but nervous, or nostalgic. * Social-Emotional Processing: Interpreting others’ emotions can also be difficult, which in turn complicates identifying one's own emotions. Social cues that neurotypical individuals pick up on such as facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language may be harder to interpret for those on the spectrum. This can create a disconnection between what an autistic person feels internally and how they understand the emotional dynamics around them. * Communication Barriers: Language may not always feel like an appropriate tool for expressing emotions. Many autistic people may struggle with verbalizing their feelings, not because they don’t understand them, but because words don’t seem to fully capture the intensity or quality of what they’re experiencing. Non-verbal expressions like sounds, movements, or even art can sometimes be more effective than trying to 'find the right words.' The Emotional Disconnect Because emotions and their physical manifestations may not always align clearly, autistic individuals can experience a sense of emotional disconnect. For instance, they may feel strong emotions but not show them in a way that others expect, leading to misunderstandings in social situations. Conversely, they may appear visibly upset or anxious without being fully aware of the underlying emotional cause. Strategies for Identifying Emotions * Body Awareness: Focusing on physical sensations can be a starting point for identifying emotions. For example, noticing a tightness in the chest may signal stress or anxiety, while a lightness in the body might indicate joy. By tuning into these signals, individuals can begin to make connections between what they feel physically and emotionally. * Emotional Charts or Apps: Visual aids, such as emotion charts or mood-tracking apps, can be helpful for identifying emotions. These break down emotions into basic categories, making it easier to recognize patterns and link feelings to specific experiences. * Routine Emotional Check-ins: Scheduling regular emotional check-ins throughout the day can help build emotional awareness. Asking questions like, “How do I feel right now?” and “What might have caused this feeling?” can develop a habit of reflection, helping us recognize emotions more readily over time. * Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can be powerful ways to express emotions when words aren’t enough. Drawing how an emotion feels, playing a musical piece that reflects a mood, or even writing poetry can offer alternative avenues for emotional understanding and communication. * Seeking Support: Working with a therapist or counselor experienced in autism can also provide valuable insights. These professionals can guide us through recognizing our emotions and offering techniques and frameworks that are tailored to our specific needs and experiences. Being autistic doesn’t mean someone is emotionless or lacks empathy; rather, it means their emotional landscape might operate differently. By acknowledging these challenges and providing supportive tools and strategies, we can foster greater emotional self-awareness and communication for autistic people. With understanding, patience, and compassion, we can help create a space where identifying and expressing emotions feels safe and achievable.
Autism Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
 October 24th
...See more Welcome to the Autism Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 29 Dec (updated by tommy) @Alwayshungry983 @AutiBoy @azuladragon34 @beck1 @courteousCoconut2519 @Fozziewozzie @GwydionRowan @HarmonyBlossom @HatsEatYou @Howegeorgia @Jenna @JovianPlutonian @JustMeUwU @llemonz @LoveMyMoonflowers @NeurospicyGirl @NightOwl2003 @pineapple7722 @Plantsaremybestfriends @RainbowRosie @sentientape @silentbuster26 @SillyBlue32 @SleepyShyCat @smolLITTLEpotato @softParadise5949 @Stasia86 @StressedGirl @SunnyCat0 @teenytinyturtle @theboymoana @tommy @Trosclair03 @Twigo7 @unassumingPeach6421 @Vivikun9 @wishfulWillow6962 @Zahrian2112
5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone on the Autism Spectrum
by Jenna
Last post
 October 17th
...See more Although the general public has become more aware of autism, there’s still a long way to go. The autistic community has commonly been told some phrases that we frankly don’t want to hear. These comments can be ignorant and hurtful, even with good intentions. Here are five things you shouldn’t say to someone on the autism spectrum. 1) “You can’t possibly be autistic” Why would you flat-out deny something I know I am? It’s not up to you to decide who is autistic! We often get this comment when others hear that we have a relationship, a job, a child, or an educational qualification. They become skeptical and say, “But you’re doing so well. You can’t possibly be autistic!” Unusually, we also get this from those who are very familiar with autism. A parent might say, “You’re not autistic! You’re nothing like my autistic child who can’t do anything independently.” The truth is that everyone with autism is different and a diagnosis is not destiny. We consider it prejudiced to assume that autistic people are all lost causes who can’t possibly succeed in life. We can be capable of so much if we have an open mind. 2) “You must be good at math” Not this misconception again! We get it, you’ve heard too many negative things about autism and you want to compliment us instead. But again, we’re all different. People on the autism spectrum have just as much variety as those outside it. This includes our abilities, which don’t always match the media stereotype. Some of us are great at math and some of us are terrible. Some of us are natural with computers and some of us are technologically illiterate. Some of us are savants and some of us struggle intellectually. Just like you, there’s no single profile of our mental abilities. Putting some abilities on a pedestal can exclude autistic people who lack those abilities and make them feel inferior. 3) “You don’t look autistic. You seem so normal” What does this even mean? How does someone look autistic? How does someone look normal? We’re physically no different from the rest of you. There’s no way for someone to look autistic at all. This comment is even worse if this is supposed to be a compliment. It suggests that seeming “autistic” is inferior and seeming “normal” is an ideal standard. We’re just different from you and we don’t want to be forced to be someone we’re not. 4) “What’s it like to be autistic?” What a strange and generic question. I might as well ask you, “What’s it like to be not autistic?” We don’t even know where to begin to answer this. Being autistic is everything we know. It’s in every single experience we have from day to day. Also, there’s no unified autistic life experience. Every autistic person has their own unique life, with experiences different from the others. Are there any experiences that are universally shared between all of us? Sure. We all get asked these silly questions. 5) “Everyone’s on the autism spectrum” No, they’re not. Trust me. Those who make this comment are suggesting that everyone understands and shares our struggles to some degree. Is this supposed to make us feel better? Well, it doesn’t work, because it’s a totally false suggestion. Others don’t know what it’s like to be autistic and never will. As funny as it is to say, only autistic people are autistic. This comment isn’t reassuring, it’s totally dismissive of our unique struggles and experiences. Have you heard any of the comments mentioned in the article? References Brown, L. (2012, February 27). 15 Things You Should Never Say To An Autistic. AWN. https://awnnetwork.org/15-things-you-should-never-say-to-an-autistic/ Hirschberg, E. (2017, December 13). What To Say & What Not To Say To Someone With Autism. Research Autism. https://researchautism.org/what-to-say-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-autism/ [https://researchautism.org/what-to-say-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-autism/] Stout, A. (2016, July 6). 11 Things Not to Say to Someone with Autism. The Autism Site. https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/dont-say-autism/ [https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/dont-say-autism/] credit [x [https://psych2go.net/5-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-someone-on-the-autism-spectrum/]]
The Struggle of Being Autistic and Identifying Emotions
by Jenna
Last post
 October 26th
...See more **Disclaimer** I cannot and do not speak for all autistic people. As an autistic person, one of the biggest challenges I face is identifying and understanding my emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel emotions. In fact, I often experience them intensely, but I struggle to recognize and label them. This disconnect between feeling something deeply and not being able to articulate it can be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes, emotions feel like a wave crashing over me, but I can't tell if it's sadness, anger, or frustration. Other times, I know something is off, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. It's like having a whirlwind of feelings inside but no clear way to describe the storm. I might react to something, and later when I reflect, I realize I was angry or anxious, but in the moment, it was just a blur of overwhelming sensations. The process of identifying emotions can feel even more daunting for many autistic people because there’s often pressure to explain how they're feeling to others, but finding the right words doesn’t come easily. I tend to rely more on physical cues, like noticing if my body is tense, my breathing shallow, or my heart racing, as a way to recognize what I’m feeling. Sometimes it’s easier to express a feeling through a sound, like a sigh or groan, than to find the exact word to describe it. What adds to the challenge is that neurotypical people often expect quick, clear emotional responses. But for many of us with autism or neurodivergence, emotions take time to process. It can feel like we're on a delay, needing space to sit with what’s going on inside before we can understand or talk about it. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take that time and not rush to name my emotions if I’m not ready. Being autistic means we process the world differently, and that includes emotions. It’s a journey to understand them, and sometimes, we have to be patient with ourselves, accepting that we don’t always have the answers right away. I’ve learned to explore my emotions through journaling, creating art, or even just sitting with a feeling without trying to label it immediately. The struggle to identify emotions is real, but over time, I’ve come to see it as part of my unique way of experiencing life. For anyone else out there who shares this struggle, know that it’s okay not to have everything figured out all at once. Emotions can be complex, and finding your own way of understanding them is a process. Why Is It Difficult? * Alexithymia: A significant number of autistic people experience alexithymia, a condition where we struggle to identify and describe our own emotions. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions; instead, we find it hard to pinpoint what those emotions are or how they connect to our experiences. For example, someone might feel an overwhelming physical sensation (like a knot in their stomach) but may not realize that they are anxious or upset. * Sensory Overload: Many autistic people experience sensory sensitivities, which can lead to sensory overload. When overwhelmed by stimuli like loud noises, bright lights, or even social environments, the body and mind can react intensely. In these situations, it can be hard to differentiate between physical discomfort and emotional states. For instance, an environment that feels overstimulating may trigger frustration, but the frustration itself might be difficult to separate from the overwhelming sensory input. * Nuanced Emotions: Emotions often come in layers or blends (e.g., feeling both happy and sad at the same time). Identifying these complex emotional states can be challenging for anyone, but for those on the spectrum, this complexity can feel especially confusing. Autistic people might struggle to name nuanced emotions, such as feeling bittersweet, relieved but nervous, or nostalgic. * Social-Emotional Processing: Interpreting others’ emotions can also be difficult, which in turn complicates identifying one's own emotions. Social cues that neurotypical individuals pick up on such as facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language may be harder to interpret for those on the spectrum. This can create a disconnection between what an autistic person feels internally and how they understand the emotional dynamics around them. * Communication Barriers: Language may not always feel like an appropriate tool for expressing emotions. Many autistic people may struggle with verbalizing their feelings, not because they don’t understand them, but because words don’t seem to fully capture the intensity or quality of what they’re experiencing. Non-verbal expressions like sounds, movements, or even art can sometimes be more effective than trying to 'find the right words.' The Emotional Disconnect Because emotions and their physical manifestations may not always align clearly, autistic individuals can experience a sense of emotional disconnect. For instance, they may feel strong emotions but not show them in a way that others expect, leading to misunderstandings in social situations. Conversely, they may appear visibly upset or anxious without being fully aware of the underlying emotional cause. Strategies for Identifying Emotions * Body Awareness: Focusing on physical sensations can be a starting point for identifying emotions. For example, noticing a tightness in the chest may signal stress or anxiety, while a lightness in the body might indicate joy. By tuning into these signals, individuals can begin to make connections between what they feel physically and emotionally. * Emotional Charts or Apps: Visual aids, such as emotion charts or mood-tracking apps, can be helpful for identifying emotions. These break down emotions into basic categories, making it easier to recognize patterns and link feelings to specific experiences. * Routine Emotional Check-ins: Scheduling regular emotional check-ins throughout the day can help build emotional awareness. Asking questions like, “How do I feel right now?” and “What might have caused this feeling?” can develop a habit of reflection, helping us recognize emotions more readily over time. * Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can be powerful ways to express emotions when words aren’t enough. Drawing how an emotion feels, playing a musical piece that reflects a mood, or even writing poetry can offer alternative avenues for emotional understanding and communication. * Seeking Support: Working with a therapist or counselor experienced in autism can also provide valuable insights. These professionals can guide us through recognizing our emotions and offering techniques and frameworks that are tailored to our specific needs and experiences. Being autistic doesn’t mean someone is emotionless or lacks empathy; rather, it means their emotional landscape might operate differently. By acknowledging these challenges and providing supportive tools and strategies, we can foster greater emotional self-awareness and communication for autistic people. With understanding, patience, and compassion, we can help create a space where identifying and expressing emotions feels safe and achievable.
Age Dysphoria?
by RobinGoodfella
Last post
 October 8th
...See more Sounds like a joke, doesn't it? "I feel like an 18-year-old trapped in a 60-year-old body." "No, you aren't. You're just an old pervert." Honestly, however, it feels like it's a major part of my autistic experience. Some parts of me are still 2 years old. Many parts of me are trapped in adolescence, still trying to figure out the "adult world". And a part of me was 60 even when I was actually 5. If I could "transition" to actually be perceived as the teen/young adult that I feel like, I think I could be more comfortable -- youngsters are supposed to be as confused, and inexperienced, and clumsy as I have been all my life.  But it still feels like a bad joke. It's probably impossible. And, in many areas, it would probably get me labeled as a predator even if my thoughts, motives, and actions are pure. So what can I do in order to unmask and be who I feel like I am *without* making the folks around me uncomfortable. No joke, just confusion.
I'm laying it all out here. Feel like I'm going insane.
by modestWriter18
Last post
 September 24th
...See more I'm from the UK, 33, male. Diagnosed with Asperger's at 8. It has made it hard to make friends. I struggled to get through school but eventually I got a degree. That's when the trouble started. None of the companies I could find within my degree's discipline would hire me. I volunteered and kept searching. In the end I asked a company called "Ways Into Work" for help. They send me on two courses that were completely outside my skillset. In the end I went on disability and have been on it ever since. I have been told these are just excuses. Here's the other part of the problem: I've never had a girlfriend. Never even kissed. Always felt like I had to prove myself worthy first but I never could. I have nothing to be confident about and I always hear how women don't want the unemployed. Apparently there's an autism-to-incel pipeline. I'd rather die than be one of those people. It feels like I'm doomed to be alone and unaccomplished. Am I blaming my condition? Possibly. All attempts to remedy the situation kept hitting walls. Most of my life has been a struggle to manage anxiety and now even meds aren't stopping it.
Recent studies affirm that autistics have more neurons than typical people.
by Hickss
Last post
 September 1st
...See more On average, autistic children have 67% more neurons than other children in the prefrontal cortex. This region of the brain is linked to social, emotional, communicative and cognitive development. But is affected due to autism.
How Can I Develop Relationships at Work
by reliableeagle6670
Last post
 August 22nd
...See more Hey all, I have been at my job for about a year. I feel like most people do not like me at work. It seems they do not want to interact with me very much. I want to be friendly and interactive, but it makes me anxious. I also tend to be overwhelmed at work which probably makes me unapproachable. I can talk about one of my special interests (video games) very confidently with a few people. Does anyone have any tips? 
Depression & Special Interests
by SleepyShyCat
Last post
 August 8th
...See more I think depression is ruining my enjoyment of my special interest. It is really sad... I have no joy or enthusiasm recently, no motivation. Usually, that would only extend to other parts of my life & I'd still be able to engage with my special interest, because it's what I enjoy most and obsessed with & gave me respite from my mental health. However the last few months, I've not been able to feel joy or happiness from anything, not even my special interest ≽^╥⩊╥^≼ & it makes me feel like I don't even like it anymore, which is an absolutely devastating feeling. I know I do still like it, I just feel so empty.  I have no motivation or energy to engage with it, so all day I do nothing. I haven't been able to do any of my usual activities related to my special interest and it makes me SO sad. I cry a lot. I almost feels like I'm grieving it. It makes my depression feel worse. I don't want to get up ever and nothing feels worth the effort.  Life sucks at the moment, I feel like I have nothing left anymore 😭
Autistic Regression
by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 August 5th
...See more The summer's almost over, the nightmare will be over soon. I know I'm not lazy, but if I want to avoid this nightmare again, I need to work harder and smarter. I need to get my butt to work. Anyways, I came home this summer. Sometimes it feels like everyone expects me to be down, stupid, and unsuccessful. I embrace that identity a bit at home because nothing seems to change, and here's why. After a month at home I always experience an autistic regression. With the stress and the panic I just can't take it anymore. My family and I don't see eye to eye. The worst is when they insult me. I knew coming home that they wouldn't respect me. They have an overwhelming to do list of social agenda's I don't know about until the 20 minutes before they start almost EVERY DAY that usually involve noise levels I find difficult to manage. Then there's the grandmother with dementia we all have to drop anything we're doing at any given moment to watch and she's a flight risk so I mean WATCH. I haven't been myself. I only have one functioning day in the week. The rest I'm stuck, can't move. I can't think sometimes I just don't think and god at some points I wanted to unalive myself. I didn't of course, I didn't really want to, but I sure thought about it. I just wanted the pain to go away. I asked for accommodations from my family and they told me what I was asking would require them to change too much of who they are. I guess to live at home I have to sacrifice who I am instead. I always feel like a shell of myself. 
Best Quote of the Day
by SkyRanchDragonfruit24
Last post
 July 25th
...See more
Excuse me, people...?
by AshleyGamer1995
Last post
 July 21st
...See more Reminder: My latest thread has not been issued a response. Please give me one (but don't write in the "G" word that I mentioned there, however. I have a dislike to them.) https://www.7cups.com/forum/autism/Sensory_2598/IamsoANGRYrightnow_332854/
Communication Issues
by lavenderJackfruit1594
Last post
 July 4th
...See more How are you handling communication problems with family and friends?  I was diagnosed a couple years ago and everyone was understanding and supportive for the first few months.  Now its back to how I am the problem, why don't I talk like normal people or I need to stop hiding behind autism and using autism as an excuse when there are communication problems.  I'm a bit frustrated and trying to figure out how to meet halfway with people. 
Lil vent bout collecting
by moonflowersystem
Last post
 May 24th
...See more I'm autistic and I have a stronger connection to animals then humans and I like collecting today I found a dead baby bird and wanted to keep it! I was so excited but now everyone I tell I upset.... I was so excited to tell people but now I just upset people...
autism & honesty
by shoutingintoether
Last post
 May 24th
...See more i get really, really effed up when people lie even in situations where neurotypicals think it's more polite to lie. i never agree with that, because i don't care about reputation or momentary embarrassment or even momentary hurt. no. i care about respect, and honor, and honesty. if you don't wanna hang out with me, tell me. if you don't love or even like me as much as you think i do you, tell me. if there's something you're ashamed of, tell me. if i make you uncomfortable, tell me. if there's a boundary i'm overstepping without realizing it, tell me. WHATEVER IT IS, I CANNOT JUST "TAKE THE HINT." AND I WOULD RATHER FEEL ANY RANGE OF EMOTIONS NOW THAN HAVE MY REALITY SHATTERED LATER. i vastly prefer to just take people at their word because it makes things far less complicated, usually, and there is little i will judge someone for...except for lying. you could be a self-aware narcissist, i've met one, she was a lovely individual; because she was working on healing, which meant working on recognizing the needs of others in order to have healthier, longer-lasting relationships; and as long as there is communication, reliability, and respect, honor, and honesty, we will be fine. i don't care nearly as much about empathy, sympathy, normalcy, neurotypicality, but by the melting grace of a snowball in Heck, i care very, very much about communication, reliability, respect, honor, and honesty rant over

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