Not officially diagnosed ASD
I have been doing some digging recently because of prompting from my kids and other people that are close to me. I recently took the RAADS- and scored a 168., I realize this is not any sort of replacement for a diagnosis nor does it give me the authority to say that I have ASD, but it definitely is a step in the right direction to me understanding myself and how to move forward. I have gotten an appointment with a psychiatrist that is authorized to treat and diagnose. ASD. I am nervous. I don’t know what this means or where to go from here, but I’m really tired of not knowing what to do with my emotions and constantly burning out whenever things are overwhelming I’m hoping to get better coping mechanisms and some answers on how my brain works and how I can work more effectively with it to accomplish my goals and live a much more stable life.
I guess it’s worth noting that I’ve already been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD. I have really been struggling lately and through the pandemic it was almost unbearable. I was having panic attacks almost daily. I’m just ready to have some relief and to not feel like this anymore or to feel like this and be able to deal with it.
This was my first therapy exercise, to post, and I was very anxious about doing it and still am. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m hoping to get the most out of therapy and actually put in the work.
I guess I could also mention a little bit about myself, I am a software engineer full-time and go to school full-time for computer science. I am married with a lil chiweenie and have three grown children that live in another state. I am completely obsessed with technology and software. I could literally do tech work all day and sometimes do. I love gaming. I love learning. I have a plan after I finish my current degree in computer science to get my masters in business admin and my doctorate in management, executive leadership.
I’m hoping going to see the therapist helps me feel less like a weirdo, my whole life people have been calling me weird and I think that with this diagnosis it would help me feel less like I’m weird and more like there is an actual reason why I am different and that maybe it’s OK. Idk. 🤷🏻♀️
@sincereWillow197
It sounds like you and I have a lot in common! I decided to go for a diagnosis because one of my grown children told me about everything she had researched about it and that she was going to go for a diagnosis herself. I was diagnosed with ASD, ADHD and PTSD at the end of 2022.
AND... I also do a lot with computer science, and would have gone the software engineering route if I knew then what I know now (PCs were just barely a thing when I got my PhD). I study emerging communication technologies. I love gaming and learning and have spent over a decade in leadership roles in higher education.
And I, too, have been called weird for as long as I can remember.
So, maybe sharing about the experience I have had since my diagnosis could be similar too...
Discovering that there is a name for what I have been living with all these years has been life-changing. In mostly a good way. I always used to feel that something was wrong with me because I couldn't figure out how to act "normal". I don't feel that way anymore. It's been a huge relief, as you say, to have an explanation. It's just who I am.
On the other hand, there are some new challenges. One is accepting that I can't do EVERYTHING, if I'm going to avoid burnout. I actually have to admit that I have limits. Another is learning who my authentic self is, as I recognize just how much I've been masking that my whole life, trying to fit in.
