Kids
If I could start all over, knowing what I know now, I would never have kids. I'd like to think I will feel different in 20 years, pretty sure I won't.
Inside that makes me feel like a bad parent. Blah blah blah you care that you are being a bad parent that means you're a good parent blah blah blah.
Pretty sure my good parenting skills come from years of bottled up guilt and shame and trying always to do my best and be perfect. And duck this schist. All I want to do is turn it all off. And that's why I consume pot daily. It keeps me from leaving it all behind. It makes things tolerable.
At some point, I will have the strength to seek real help, is it ADHD, autism, anxiety, addiction, apathy, hormones? Whatever it is, it has been getting worse. But for now...YOU are all I have.
@CompassionatePeacemaker0810
There are moment in almost everyone's lives that they question if they would do thing over and they would like to escape ...... many people turn to substance to mellow or take the edge off but in the end i think people need to work through items that bother them.....
i have found i few good listeners here that can help with items you might want to talk about